h a l f b a k e r yCall Ambulance, Rebuild Kitchen.
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A wine glass that you bring by your ownself to a wine-tasting party or event or other thing where you were promised, promised, PROMISED hors d'ouevres but no matter how hard you look you can't find them, even if you start poking around in the back of the bar, but you don't want to poke too much because
the bartenders all know you from the last time you were there, and all you really want is a little bit of cheese or a shrimp wrapped in bacon or some bread or SOMETHING but NoooOOOooOOOoo....all you get is fifty-dollar wine that tastes like it came out of a box!
Moving on...
This wine glass, which as aforesaid you carry about with you, contains a hollow stem which connects to a surreptitious tube that runs down your sleeve and into a hip flask or fanny bag. No matter how much time the sommelier spends filling your glass, it will never reach the one-taste level.
Comes with small valve to allow the glass to appear to fill occasionally to prevent suspicion.
The stem-tube, for lack of a better term, is mirrored for you red-wine buffs. It might look a bit off, but not as much as red liquid flowing down the stem of your wineglass would.
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You'd need several of these dicreet "colostomy bag" things so that you avoid mixing, for example, the Merlot with the Shiraz. |
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Some of the pricier crappy wine I had yesterday was, in fact, a blend of merlot and shiraz, with just a hint of cabernet. |
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That seems appropriate for an Irish holiday. |
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Last wine-tasting party I went to had more food than I could eat, and something like 100 vintners, each with 6-8 different wines. I'm damned if I remember even one of them! |
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(They did have spittoons, but I really couldn't bring myself to use them.) |
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//That seems appropriate for an Irish holiday// |
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Yesterday I celebrated an Irish-themed holiday in a city founded by the French, where the major paper was founded by a Pole and a company founded by German immigrants brews a Czech-inspired beer, by drinking wine barreled in a state named for a former English soldier. |
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//state named for a former English soldier// Which is that? (In a state named for a river, in a town with a unique name, I went to a supermarket named for its pricing policy and bought a bottle of Irish whiskey.) |
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Um, the idea . . .. I think a good sommelier is probably pouring by time, rather than by glass level. |
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Washington state, of course. |
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