h a l f b a k e r yWhy on earth would you want that many gazelles anyway?
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You sit at the bar - alone. You know that drinking can't really help you, only postpone the inevitable. It can only make you forget. Dull the pain.
Until now. I propose a series of pint (or other measures - I just like pints) glasses with advice (a la fortune cookie) inscribed onto the base. The
advice may be read by looking down from the rim of the glass.
Advice could range from:
"Eat more fibre" to
"Sell your stocks in pumpkins *before* Halloween" to
"Talk to her, she still loves you".
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The people who make pint glasses have always put something on the bottom of glasses, like their logo or name or some sort of miscellaneous picture, but never messages. Sounds similar to the bar napkin idea in the Simpsons. Croissant for you. |
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Put a mirror in the bottom. |
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A neat idea but I can see it being hijacked: |
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"You like beer. Buy beer."
"It's your round."
"Kebabs are good, too - go buy one from Mr. Kebab." |
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"If you can read this, you need more beer." |
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If you can't read this you've had too much |
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Ha! Good idea Jinbish. It would also be good if someone could paint enlightening messages on the bedroom ceiling that can only be seen properly when the room is spinning round. |
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Could be good in combination with a lottery game. "Sorry, try again." Glug, glug, glug. "Sorry, try again." Glug, glug, glug, ad nauseum (so to speak). |
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"Objects seen through this bottom are closer than they appear." |
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I have found that the solution at the bottom of a beer glass usually proves to be a little more beer. Entendre intended. |
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I collect pint glasses with beer logos on them, as it happens. I don't know of any that have stuff written on the bottom, but I do have one from Blue Moon brewery that has this written below the halfway mark, and facing the inside of the glass so only the drinker can read it: |
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"If you can read this, you're missing something." |
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Please cal AA immediately at (555)555-5555. |
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I like this. Just like a magic eight ball, but you don't have to shake it. One could ask questions of one's beer, like:
Will I vomit befrofe the night is over?
[ Signs point to yes ] |
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goober, just make it a two-piece, with the pic trapped between. |
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"This is what a pretty woman looks like. Please contrast with the gal you're currently oogling." |
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"Don't forget to give your keys and wallet to Ray, your favorite bartender." |
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"For a good time, call xxx-xxxx" |
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talen was on to something with the the first annotation: Some pint tumblers (and half pint tumblers (not midget gymnasts)) have a "laser etching" pattern on the bottom of the glass that - somehow - facilitates the creation of bubbles (provided the glass is dry). I can't think of a reason why this "laser etching" process could not be co-opted by Jinbish Enterprises for the purpose stated in the idea. |
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Beer,the cause of and solution of all lifes problems.(Homer Simpson) |
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//"For a good time, call xxx-xxxx"// |
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In Japan and Korea, they stuff small photo calling cards between the window glass and the door of the driver's side for drunken, horny office workers to find when they stumble out of the drinking joints at going home time (or not yet, depending on the picture). |
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I know this because, my travelling companions (girls) were collecting them as souvenirs and decided to ship them home in my jacket pocket and a couple of dozen collection of hooker ads in one's pocket (where my business cards are meant to be) is not an easy thing to explain in casual conversation. |
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