h a l f b a k e r yInvented by someone French.
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The search for renewable fuels has missed a previously exploited source - whales! Why not use hollow harpoons, and liposuck out blubber? The whales would survive to be routinely 'harvested', like sheep shearing. It would be in everyone's interest to ensure the proliferation of whales and other oil-rich
critters that could be used as a renewable supply of alternative fuel.
Stealth lipo-fracking
Stealth_20lipo-frac...0Body_20Fat_20Fairy
[not_morrison_rm, Nov 05 2017]
[link]
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Whales rely on the blubber to maintain their body temperature, and even if you could find enough whales to tap for fuelmaking purposes, any loss of blubber could very adversely effect their chances for long-term survival. Also, blubber isn't anything like typical fat: it's very firm, almost like a rubbery soap. Liposucking that would be very difficult. |
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Better to go whaling at the Golden Corral. |
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I've participated in the harpooning of this idea, but the poster gets credit for sheer chutzpah. That would be some grumpy whale wrestling going on. |
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Whale liposuction not only engenders harmony with nature's beauty, but enhances it, as overwieght whales can hardly enjoy advances such as Pilates and Jazzercise due to the lack of opposable thumbs. |
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I'm often thought that this method should be applied to livestock. Through minor surgery their muscles/bloodflow could be rerouted to create a large lump of "meat" on one side; this would be periodically removed (surgically) and sold, but then it would regrow. It could be done relatively painlessly for the animal and there would be no need to kill the animal and raise a new one from scratch. Less energy input needed. |
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You could do this to overweight humans. |
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More easy than whales.
Health benefits to the humans concerned.
Efficiency benefits (overweight humans metabolise more energy than thin ones)
Probably a higher yield, too.
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.... sponsored by Coca-Cola and McDonalds ... |
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If you start suckin the fat of overweight people that drive health care and insurance costs up with their gluttony, then I'll get behind this one. |
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Surely the whales would go all squeaky, if all the whale oil is
extracted? |
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It'll play merry hell with sonar, I can tell you. |
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^Ahem..."suckin the fat of overweight people" see stealth
lipo-fracking link |
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Jacinda would not frack this fat,
Not with her teeth or tooth,
We'll have to wait three years for that,
Or six maybe, forsooth! |
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// whales would go all squeaky // |
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That's obviously what happens to dolphins. They diet to reach the
"perfect" body shape, but without all those lipids, they start
squeaking. |
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Terrible thing, social pressure ... we blame the media. |
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[mylodon] are you, by any chance, directly related to William McGonagall? |
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I'm flattered you think
My skills are so scottish
But like him I'm nothing
My efforts mere frottage
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When [Mydolon] penned his first verse
His themes were just downright perverse
His critics all said
That he should be shot dead
And then taken away in a hearse.
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If you can't stanza it, you'll just have to put a clip on your prose ... |
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it sonnet odeology,
And no high falooting' pentamerals,
but hardly worth a eulogy,
ya couplet' doggerels,
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