h a l f b a k e r y"Put it on a plate, son. You'll enjoy it more."
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Right, while doing nothing interesting, I remembered in me youth the fad of having a water bed. In this case waterbeds filled with sea water.
Breaking out the abacus, UK population 65,000,000...(13.5 million) of them are kiddies, lets say 80% percent of adults are in a relationship (41.6 mil) and
adult curmudgeons (10.4 mil) ….
Hmm that makes 13.5 million kiddie beds @265.5 litres each
couples 41.6 million double beds @ 600 litres
curmudgeons @265.5 litres each comes to 31,090,350,000 litres of water not coming in through my front door.
Bonus features are you can (temperature permitting) grow your own shrimps, have tropical fish, stack the beds to make a salmon ladder, leave your contact lenses in it overnight, and you have a handy amount of water to put out (non-electrical) fires and stuff like that.
minor update - If we posit a tower block with each bed being a water bed connected with pipes, it would make a nifty hydro-electric wossername.
At peak electric demand (ie daytime) 20% or so of the water could be directed to turbines, the water to pumped back up during the night.
I guessed at 20% will let people doing night-shifts will not be too disturbed due to the lowering water level in daytime.
'Electric Mountain' pumped storage generation plant
https://www.electri...ntain.co.uk/History
[hippo, Oct 15 2021]
[link]
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This is all well and good, but some of us are already doing our bit
to stem the rising waters. I have personally, and entirely at my
own expense, purchased two additional ice trays. Assuming that,
averaged over time, they are each half-full (of either water or
ice), that means that they are locking up a steady 450ml of what
would otherwise be contributing to rising sea levels. |
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450ml may not seem much, but it is equivalent to a 45nm depth
of water, if spread over the entire Buchanan Estate. Now, 45nm
may not sound a lot, but if 1/7th of the Earth's population did the
same, that would be a full 45m of water. Given that the Estate
is already 35m above sea level, that gives me full 80m of sea
level rise before I need to start installing flood defences. |
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// I have personally, and entirely at my own expense, purchased two additional ice trays. // |
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<activates Universal Translator/> |
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"I got my no-good cheating brother to order two ice trays on ebay. Then I claimed they never arrived, and got a refund." |
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It's called "Obtaining goods by deception ", and it's both illegal and morally* reprehensible. |
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*Wiktionary would be your friend there, as morality seems to be an unknown concept to your family. |
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I'm very familiar with morality. In fact, I use the Apple
version of it, iMmorality. |
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// they are each half-full |
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Ah, there's where you're going wrong, they should be half
empty, so there's more space for additional water. |
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You're right, [nrm]. Henceforth I shall be sure to empty out
the ice on a regular basis into my river. Hah! That'll be a
further action against global warming. |
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Simply by drinking an extra (hic) liter of beverages every day, combined with an appropriate quantity of salted and vinegared chips I am able to contain that amount of liquid and thus maintain 1 liter of global warning safely inside my body. |
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//I use the Apple version of it, iMmorality.// |
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AAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hehehheheheeeeeeee |
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Pro-Trump candidate suggests taking all boats
out of the water to lower sea levels
‘When you take things out of bath.. |
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I really like the idea of using a whole tower-block full of
waterbeds as a pumped-storage power generation plant.
Dinorwig (see link) is a key part of the UK's rapid demand
power generation and can go from 0 to 1,320 MW in 12
seconds |
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I think the coupling couples will be unhappy to have their bouncy bonding beds be suddenly voided of bounce juice. Not to mention cranky old men whose backs will hurt. |
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