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Waitstaff Performance Enhancer

 Improves waitstaff response times
  (+2, -4)
(+2, -4) 		  [vote for,
against]

I used to work as a Chef and I can tell you there is nothing more frustrating than trying to move a few hundred meals when your 18 year old waitstaff are busy checking Facebook on their phones. My solution involves a a collar containing a heavy duty battery and a wireless receiver. Instead of ringing a bell when tables are ready, you simply press a button located in the kitchen which sends a signal to the relevant staff member and gives them a hearty shock. If no waitstaff appear in a timely manner, simply hold the button.

I'm aware there are ethical/legal issues to be overcome, but I would give my left arm for one of these systems.

—Eggplant, Sep 12 2009

recommended reading http://www.amazon.c...nical/dp/0061256684
waiting tables isn't as easy as it looks. [jaksplat, Sep 15 2009]

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       You were a Chef, eh?
—DrWorm, Sep 12 2009
   

       I used to work as a Chef. I was a Chef. I am a Chef.   

       These statements are different...   

       I used to work as a Chef a lot when I was traveling Australia.   

       Free food, cheap beer, loose waitresses and subsidized accommodation. Not a bad gig really...
—Eggplant, Sep 12 2009
   

       get 'em to twitter - its much faster!
—po, Sep 12 2009
   

       I read this as Wagstaff Performance Enhancer (totally unnecessary, of course).
—MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 12 2009
   

       The word "enhancer" makes me shudder. My spam folder is chock full of "enhancements". None of them good...Chef Eggplant, I like that. It's gotta a nice ring to it.
—blissmiss, Sep 12 2009
   

       You know I make a mean Baba Ganoush!   

       In these tough economic times the shortage of labor should be no problem, and even more reason not to be losing customers to unnecessarily long wait times. I think there is a market for this, though possibly more in S&M circles than the Hospitality Industry...
—Eggplant, Sep 13 2009
   

       Why you little perv you.
—blissmiss, Sep 13 2009
   

       I take offense to that. It wasn't meant in an offensive or perverted way, just another failed attempt at humor.
—Eggplant, Sep 13 2009
   

       ditto, eggie.
—blissmiss, Sep 13 2009
   

       I'm a chef too, and I can imagine that this device would be abused by sadistic managers and line cooks. In fact, I can think of a few deserving servers who I'd push the button on and not let go.
—jaksplat, Sep 13 2009
   

       Indeed, but after a few weeks imagine how smooth service would run!
—Eggplant, Sep 13 2009
   

       // after a few weeks imagine how smooth service would run // Considering all your waitstaff have quit and got jobs elsewhere by then, and you with only one arm - probably not very well.
—tatterdemalion, Sep 13 2009
   


 

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