h a l f b a k e r yBone to the bad.
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Scene: Exterior, day. Running DSL to DSR, with exits, a ROAD. USC, ONE
WHITE TREE.
Two men, FARAMIR and ARAGORN are sitting by the TREE.
FARAMIR: So, can we go now ?
ARAGORN: No, not yet.
FARAMIR: Why not ?
ARAGORN: Because we're waiting for Frodo ...
Continue in like style for 1200
pages of text, three films, a radio
series, innumerable spinoffs ...
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Annotation:
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No! We had to read this crap in Engish Lit. |
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“Given the existence of Gandalf quaquaquaqua with
white beard for reasons unknown but time will tell
who from the heights of Mount Doom plunged in
torment plunged in fire the One Ring for reasons
unknown…” |
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Maybe Frodo's already there but invisible? |
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When I was little The Hobbit was my favourite book ever. I saw a trailer for the film the other day - it looks terrible. A trilogy? they're going to ruin my childhood... |
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Your childhood? You wait till you see the
trailer for "Middle Earth: The Phantom
Menace". Then you'll realise your future's
been ruined too … |
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//I saw a trailer for the film the other day - it looks terrible.// Really? I thought it looked pretty good. But I'm also a film nerd so I get excited about things like making normal sized actors appear like hobbits in moving shots. |
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Eh, I got bored of that by the end of the rings. Maybe I'm just extra critical when they adapt a book I really like. Don't get me started on I Am Legend. |
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//Don't get me started on I Am Legend// Gah! You got ME started on I Am Legend. That was the biggest piece of shit I've seen since the new version of The Day the Earth Stood Still. Well, other than the Transformers series. |
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Orlando Bloom gambolling whilst slaying the oliphaunt scarred me for life... please, no more. |
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TREE: Oh! I thought we were waiting for the Entwives. Boom, boom, boorrah, boom, hoom, etc, etc. |
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I bunned this because I had a dog named Frodo (back when) and I always hope all my dogs will be waiting for me when I get to heaven!!
I'm also a Lord of the Rings reader / movie fan, but I still think some of it is absurdly long, so bun for that, too! + |
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Only if it's written by Samuel Jackson. |
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Aragon: (with a long-suffering sigh). Golem light—bough not
motherfucking break—Golem motherfucking dead. Aragorn
heavy—bough break—Aragorn motherfucking alone.
Whereas— |
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Golem: Golem! Golem! Golem will get an erection,
Precious! He can use ring as Co - |
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