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So you're getting your affairs in order. Doing up a will, making funeral arrangements so that your grief stricken loved ones don't have that burden added to their suffering.
You decide on cremation, because they won't let you have a sky-burial, but don't feel like having your ashes sitting on a mantle
until some descendant figures the old vessel might be worth more than the ashes in it and some pawn shop gives them five bucks for it once you've been tossed in the trash.
Well FryCo has just the thing for you!
It's our new volcanic eruption snow-globe urn!
That's right! At the push of a button all of the settled ash from the base of the globe is drawn downwards to shoot realistically up from a miniature replica of mount Vesuvius in the background, erupting your remains all over a 3d printed figure of You in one of several poses in a Pompei setting of your choice!
The Vulcurn... We gotcha covered.
[link]
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Little me-shaped figures inside a lava-lamp. |
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Snow-globe urn was genius enough. Adding the
volcano is ash icing on top of the cake. |
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// grief stricken loved ones // |
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Not something you have to be overly concerned about, [xrn] ... |
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Sadly, on the days chosen for remembrance, the chore of dead batteries leaves a different memory in the mind. |
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Yes, and sooner than you think; just emigrate to North Korea ... |
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Woops! Hit delete instead of anno by accident. |
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//I kinda prefer the idea of my gray ashes floating down over a model of a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Can this be an option please?
— AusCan531, Apr 07 2019// |
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Of course.
Pick your city or prominent scene and our staff artists will create a recognizable but thoroughly demolished representation for you to descend upon. |
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Or for just a few dollars more you can perpetually tornado your way across a mock Kansas in one of our popular Wizurn of Oz series, or you have your ashes assume geometric patterns in standing wave nodes in a Cymaticurn, but that one's prohibitively expensive for now. |
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We find this method of recycling matter after death
entirely
logical. It remains to be seen what the Romulons will
do
with their Romulurns. |
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