h a l f b a k e r yPoint of hors d'oevre
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Ever since the earliest Hebrews dropped shekels into clay pots whenever they broke the Nth commandment, that one about swearing, denizens of the Judeo-Christian tradition have been looking for ways to impel themselves toward self-improvement (author excluded). A software package doped with one's credit
card number could extend this endeavor into the virtual realm, dunning the profligate web surfer (baker?) with daily charges based on usage statistics. SwearWare could be configured with different penance rates for different web sites: smaller penalties for the more noble sites (Washington Post Style Invitational); larger penalties for the naughtier ones (ratemycoldsore.com). But where would all this money go? Configure SwearWare to deposit your payments into the PayPal account or charity of your choice. Too much time surfing eBay? Forward your punitive funds to Goodwill, where most of that used crap belongs anyway. Fighting an addiction to a beastie porn site? Send the funds to heifer.org!
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+ I could use a service like this. I spend all my time at eCovet.com... |
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Where is this baked in The Simpsons? |
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There's a swear jar in the Simpsons, but it wasn't new with them. My rebaking of the idea enhances it with web smarts and complicates it by involving credit cards! SwearWare doesn't just allow banks to monitor your surfing, it requires monitoring! |
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you could use the software in conjunction with voice recognition software, so you computer can really stick it to you |
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It could simply email you every time you swear. You'd soon get tired of cleaning out 100 emails every day, and clean up your language instead. |
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