Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Viola Tee

Holds your viola so you are free to play it
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No one can play the viola [citation needed], because it's extremely difficult to hold the thick, heavy instrument between one's chin and collarbone. One must hold the instrument solidly under his/her chin so that he/she can use the left hand to move up and down the fingerboard freely rather than to provide additional support.

I think the viola should be attached to a sturdy but flexible pole in front of the performer. After attaching the viola, the performer scoots up to the instrument and places his/her body in the appropriate position. The flexibility of the pole enables the performer to change angles or rock back and forth while playing, and allows the viola to follow his movements. This allows a stress-free, physically comfortable viola playing experience [citation needed].

phundug, Aug 15 2011

Steadicam http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steadicam
Could be adapted. [8th of 7, Aug 15 2011]

[link]






       Steadicam mount ?   

       <link>
8th of 7, Aug 15 2011
  

       Alternatively, the instrument can be clamped securely in position and the player can simply hang from it by her chin.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 15 2011
  

       • headstrap
• nail it to the back of the violist in front to help balance them out
• pianos have plenty of places to hook into... they're not just for opening beer you know
• 'classical lap steel'
FlyingToaster, Aug 15 2011
  

       A carbine strap?
reensure, Aug 15 2011
  

       //No one can play the viola//   

       The violin, improved.
Loris, Aug 15 2011
  

       Viola - (n):
1) A depressingly large violin
2) A large, depressing violin
3) A largely depressing violin.
FlyingToaster, Aug 15 2011
  

       Typically played by large, depressed violinists?
Alterother, Aug 15 2011
  

       Dang. Not a new line of halfbakery tee shirts, then. I was also hoping for one with "Shirley" in small, tasteful embroidery above the breast pocket.
mouseposture, Aug 16 2011
  

       It doesn't matter how tastefully you embroider it, anybody who knowingly sets you up for that joke is going to face extreme sanction!
Alterother, Aug 16 2011
  

       I think it better to affix the bow, freeing both the player's hands to maneuver the viola against it.
tatterdemalion, Aug 16 2011
  

       In that case, why not affix both the viola and the bow, and control the whole thing remotely?
phundug, Aug 17 2011
  

       Ooh. An awesome excuse for this [link].   

       Nevermind.
Animusic has pulled the creepy fingered musical instument video and you have to pay to see it now. (+)
  

       Perhaps simply a very very long cello support spike and alternate playing position? Think of the instrument spins they could do.   

       I think the cello players must be jealous. We need some way to place a cello underneath a chin in similar arrangement...
RayfordSteele, Aug 17 2011
  
      
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