Verminophobia Glove Pocket Pants

These are pants with the insides of the front pockets shaped like cotton gloves and a fly that can be opened from the inside. Men suffering an acute fear of germs can casually saunter up to a urinal in these trousers with hands in pockets and pull out their equipment without removing their hands, touching anything, or having to wear sanitary gloves in public.

Also any men’s room acquaintance can be safely greeted by extending a gloved hand through the fly to shake or wave.

Orders received within 10 days will include absolutely free of charge two life-like, glistening plastic ice cubes to be used upon hearing disparaging penile size comments – “Oh, that’s probably because I happened to have these ice cubes in my pocket.”