Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Vantablack Stealth Paint

Like a void on the water
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Blacker is the new black, and new navy blue...

Make like a hole in the water, or air, or space, for that matter.

RayfordSteele, Sep 20 2017

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       Excellent. If this were implemented, the navy would finally be able to conduct covert operations in coal mines.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 20 2017
  

       Unfortunately, because it is SO black, it's blacker than anything else (for example, the stuff around and behind), and therefore not camouflage. It would be incredibly easy to spot, even at night.
neutrinos_shadow, Sep 20 2017
  

       I think it belongs in science: light   

       Or product: marketing
normzone, Sep 20 2017
  

       Or science: dark
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 20 2017
  

       Or Product:Prank:Acme:Wyle E. Coyote Stick-On Tunnel Portal ...
8th of 7, Sep 20 2017
  

       Ok apparently I need to spell it out a bit further.   

       Excellent radar absorption.
RayfordSteele, Sep 20 2017
  

       ... but still, I imagine, bleeding obvious to sonar?   

       Maybe you could combine it with noise-cancelling technology ...   

       But no; what [shadow] said: what you want is to look as dark as your background, and no darker.   

       Also, I suppose, might work better in the sky, at night.
pertinax, Sep 21 2017
  

       Wait: satellites!   

       Never mind the navy; Vantablack is the ideal stealth technology for the Space Force. That's the environment in which you want to be the same colour as Nothing. Might also bring on Kessler syndrome a little earlier, because no-one would see it coming.
pertinax, Sep 21 2017
  

       "It's like, how much more black could this be? and the answer is none. None more black..."
hippo, Sep 21 2017
  

       Well, there's at least two possible (marked-for-tagline) examples here:   

       " Wait: satellites!"   

       and   

       " Ok apparently I need to spell it out a bit further "
normzone, Sep 21 2017
  

       During WWII, the French airforce developed a very effective strategy to make their aircraft undetectable - they simply weren't there.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 21 2017
  

       Maybe adding the water-borne contingency was a bit rash.
RayfordSteele, Sep 21 2017
  

       A well-crafted deception can often be more effective than the thing it's simulating. This is well known to the military.
8th of 7, Sep 23 2017
  

       This is workable but first needs a little prep. Whilst painting your war vehicles in Vanta black and crafting vanta black cloaks for your soldiers one must release trillions of aphids or other honeydew producing insects over your intended field of operation. If that isn't practical have your airforce spray the area with a similar sticky, sugary solution.   

       As any gardener will tell you, all vegetation and other substance covered in this inexpensive substance will soon be covered in sooty mould. The airforce or partisans will have ensured that plenty of the appropriate fungal spores have been wafted around. In no time at all your invading vanta black forces can waltz into the area undetected whilst the defending army, clad in green, will be obvious targets.
AusCan531, Sep 23 2017
  

       The trouble with this idea is that only Anish Kapoor is allowed to do it.
nineteenthly, Sep 24 2017
  

       I understand that's only true of art. So long as it can't be defined as art, Kapoor can't lawfully stop you. I don't know what definition of art m'learned friends would use in this case (perhaps [calum] could advise?) but I can think of one possible angle; posit that art, nowadays, is defined as anything that serves no definite purpose. Point out that your work serves a quite definite purpose, namely, to frustrate Anish Kapoor, and that therefore it's not art, so Kapoor can't stop it.
pertinax, Sep 24 2017
  

       // art, nowadays, is defined as anything that serves no definite purpose //   

       We always suspected that Jeremy Corbyn was some sort of artist ...
8th of 7, Sep 24 2017
  

       To a nihilist or existentialist then, everything is art.
nineteenthly, Sep 24 2017
  

       ... and I'm pretty sure a Situationist from the 60s would have said exactly that. Probably more than once.
pertinax, Sep 24 2017
  

       Fire safety issues. Think about it: you'd be dialling down the frequency to the lower limit of visibility (to make it as red as possible), and then you'd have to up the amplitude somehow to make sure it was still visible. I'm thinking painted-on burning coals.
pertinax, Sep 24 2017
  

       // I wonder what would be involved in patenting a super redder-than-red? //   

       There's a "pinkest pink" paint available, which anyone is allowed to buy, except Anish Kapoor.
notexactly, Feb 07 2018
  
      
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