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Sold in jars with descreet labelling. Texture resembles jam but is clear like hair gel except for the odd simulated pubic hair. The taste is artificially sweetened and smells relatively the same.
How many calories in the average male ejaculation?
http://www.straight...lassics/a1_054.html For Pussygalore. [StarChaser, May 25 2001]
Girlscent exotic room scent
http://web.archive....//www.girlscent.ca/ Portal of Evil is truly the friend of every halfbaker. [repointered to archive.org --jutta] [pottedstu, Jan 04 2002]
http://3xi.org/view...blic/?doc=Lapjuicer
[jutta, Jul 12 2005]
(???) My Vagina
http://www.national...vag/02_myvagina.asp From the Nat-Lamp "food" issue. [reensure, Sep 11 2005]
"Vulva Original: Authentically natural vaginal flavour."
http://www.riechmichund.com/ I wonder if Ben is an investor. [not safe for work or children, flash site]. From metafilter.com [bristolz, Mar 05 2006]
Q. What does it taste like?
http://ask.metafilter.com/mefi/52203 A. A 9v battery. [calum, Dec 11 2006]
(?) Courvoisier XO advertisement
http://camy.org/gallery/fullsize/489.jpg It's not the exact billboard I'd seen back in 2004, but you'll get the idea. [jutta, Nov 17 2008]
The Onion: "K-Y Introduces New Line Of Jam"
http://www.theonion...roduces_new_line_of [hippo, Feb 12 2009]
pussy
http://www.pussydrinks.com/ Energy drink, UK [jutta, Apr 29 2009]
We Buy Any Car dot Com
http://www.youtube....watch?v=f-yEWZTBQ64 [calum, May 25 2009, last modified Jan 16 2014]
I started out google image searching vuvuzela, to confirm that they probably looked like what I thought they did. Then I wound up at the "vulva original" site above. But youtube led me here.
http://www.youtube....watch?v=n0M4yAZkdt0 [normzone, Jun 18 2010]
Super Terrific Japanese Thing: Vagina Bread
http://www.toplessr...ng_vagina_bread.php A perfect accompaniment Teat, a drink with Jane and Brad [Dub, Mar 17 2013]
Fark/HuffPo's "Latest invention set to snatch away market share? The Vagina Toaster "
http://www.fark.com/comments/8102830 [Dub, Jan 16 2014]
(???) e-banned
www.ebanned.com You can buy stuff like this over here, if you wanted to learn. [xkuntay, Jan 17 2014]
(??) Cockle Bread
http://flan.utsa.ed...m/Splittgerber.html 17th century vaginal bread flora enrichment technique with aphodesiac effects [fishboner, Jan 19 2014]
My Sex Junk (song and dance routine) endorsed by Bill Nye the "Science" Guy on his TV show
https://youtu.be/VtJFb_P2j48 A "Vagina Jam" that was as tasteful and well-liked as this idea. [sninctown, Apr 26 2021]
[link]
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You know you're in trouble when you've been unanimously fishboned and no-one but the big UB has managed to articulate their horror in an annotation. |
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thumbwax....more of a "frigid" reception for frosty..... |
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This is the nastiest thing I have ever heard, and I _still_ have a question;
Why? |
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Yes, the fish has spoken - why? |
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well .. . . i kinda like the taste. |
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No, I'm responsible for one of them, because it made me laugh long and hard. |
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Do you come from a land down under? |
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Sorry, [Tugun], but Marmite is English, made in Burton-on-Trent from excess yeast produced by the many breweries sited there because the water is so suitable. |
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there is certainly an interesting conversation brewing up... |
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I've just checked this out. I was thinking along the same line as you Rods, shame really cos that's a preferable topic for discussion. As for this idea it sucks. Why don't we go the whole 9 yards and start marketing all of our bodily secretions and smegma. Yuk! Have a fishbone. |
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Marmite and Vegemite are both
commercial products, as
described by [UnaBubba] but
differ only in that Marmite is
available in England and
Vegemite is available in
Australia. Folks who've tasted
both say that they're slightly
different in saltiness and
putrefaction. To the great
unwashed, however, they are
both considered anti-personnel
food (e.g. something you'd try
to kill someone else with). |
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Having been devoted to Frau Furtz for many many years I wouldn't know, but an old friend informs me that all vaginas do not taste the same. So, leaving aside the merits of your idea, it may be necessary to consider whether something definable as a vaginal flavor actually exists. |
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Moreover, even if one ignores the questions of taste as well as tastefulness, it should be noted that, unless of course you are talking about sheep or other non-human vaginas, vaginal secretions are produced by the human body. Hence the consumption of your product could be associated with pseudo-cannibalism -- and raise ethical questions. |
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Offensive I can grant you, but why is it sexist? Would a "semen jelly" idea be sexist too? |
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Marmite and Vegemite are both manufactured and distributed in New Zealand and Australia. It is an acquired taste. Personally I prefer Marmite. Excellent source of vitamin B, folate and iron I might add...unlike vagina jam. |
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While the fact in no way detracts from her argument, [Mephista] may wish to know that the singer Marc Almond (of Soft Cell) was visited by the police, who found, in his refrigerator, several pints of semen in bottles. |
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mephista: afaik there's no such thing as vagina-jam, either. I suspect the market for each would be similarly small, but not quite zero. Likewise the number of people who would want to provide the secretions in question: a small number but not zero. A glance through the personals of any city newspaper should demonstrate that there are a lot of people out there with odd kinks. (This seems not too far removed from the trade in smelly underwear, of both sexes.) |
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Some mornings my girlfriend and I really enjoy breakfast in bed . . . |
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here in tokyo next to sake vending machine we have a used schoolgirls underwear vending machine. On top of that the female house mates all have had there underwear stolen at some point in this city. the quesiton is: if there were no vending machines would more be stolen? if there was no jelly would we all want oral sex more? ps. I wasnt the one who stole the underwear! |
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Is that all guys want? Jelly?! Please people don't bring this
idea to the top again or I'll post "cum brandy butter" |
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I suppose now is the time to get benfrost in touch with my friend (she of the Eau de English Quim idea). <sigh> |
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Oi lewisgirl! Not wanting to cause tension here, just need
you to clarify ..... are you going to bill me for marketing
services if I proceed with Eau d'Quim Anglaise? I have my
own ad campaign underway! |
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I'll charge you extra if you spell it like that. "d'Quim"??? Is 'Q' a vowel? And does "...Anglaise" refer to a masculine product? Eau de la Quim Anglaise. Get it right or I'll sue. |
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[Dr Furtz] Good point, it would be hard to define a taste as not only does the taste vary from woman to woman, it also varies considerably depending upon the time of the month and what they have been eating/drinking. |
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"Gentleman's Relish" has been available in good London shops for decades. It is essentially Anchovy paste - need I say more.... |
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Nooo! My girlfriend just dumped me over a halfbaked idea. Not again! |
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Straight out of a Farrelly Brothers screenplay! Why don't you hop into your doggy-van and go get a pedicure with an electric sander and a bowl haircut, and then rent an orange tuxedo! Or maybe get a buzz cut and a state trooper's costume, and go shoot a dying cow! |
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This HAS to be the most voted against HB item ever... |
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But do you get my references, benfrost? (or is your real name Charlie Christmas? Or perhaps it's Lloyd Baileygates?):-D
BTW, I bet someone who can think up something so revolting (and degrading to womanhood) has his partner (her name wouldn't happen to be Mary or Irene, now would it? :-D) use his manly spatterings as a hair beautifier! Do you call said partner such endearments as "candypants" or "sweetbeak?" Or do you tell her how you want to make sweet love to . . . A SCHOOLBOY? I just bet that your favorite food is jalapenos and that you can make The Most Annoying Sound in the World!
Hey, I don't want to twist your niblets! Whatever floats your boat! Just don't crash your doggy van, and whatever you do DON'T get the ol' one-eyed matinee idol and his two co-stars caught in the fly of that tangerine tux you're sportin' :-)— | Sparki,
Aug 13 2001, last modified Aug 18 2001 |
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I think that Sparki is hoping that I too am from a dumb and dumber movie. |
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benfrost, there's something about ... this idea that you came up with that just revolts me, myself, AND any "Irenes" out there. |
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This Vagina-Jam just runs and runs, doesn't it. |
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Not surprising since the concept itself has all the appeal of a tabloid's coverage of a star trek convention. |
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Do we have to get a new jar each month? |
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How many calories would there be in a dollop of vagina jam? (BTW, does anyone know the calorific content of a spoonful of 'Gentleman's relish?) |
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Pussygalore, see the link. |
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Thanks for the links Starchaser and UB. |
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Two questions;
Considering its similarity to egg white, could I use semen to whip up a meringue?
Would my vegetarian friends eat them? |
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I don't see why vegans wouldn't as their objection to eating animal products is a purely ethical one. The animal(s) from which your meringue came (no pun intended) would not only have to consent to, but enjoy the process. But vegetarians, I'm not so sure of. |
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Spread onto old man's knobs. Perfect for when guests or relatives drop by. |
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Whoo! Makes for a whole new meaning for 'come over for dinner'. Everybody'd be so exhausted by the time it came <ahem> around that nobody'd want to eat it... |
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well, aside from the fact that this is one of the longest discussions i've seen my whole one day at this site, and one of the oddest, I'm afraid i still have to fishbone this for the mere though of 80 year old grandmothers in sweatshops rubbing themselve over a long conveyorbelt of empty jars, while old Bing Crosby plays over the PA system... I don't think I'm ever going to sleep again, thx. |
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I am amazed at how, like a bad stain, this idea keeps seeping back through to the top. |
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Garou: luckily, it can be done synthetically (See link). |
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Well done 'flaps. Good work! |
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This would be one of the not-so-good aspects of rebuilding the Halfbakery... |
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This idea was "lost" before the disk crash wasn't it? |
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So nice to see it here again. |
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I never had the courage to read the entire idea before, and now that I have, all I can say is Eewwwwwwwwwwww!. (+ for old time sakes though). |
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im thinking of doing an illustration for this but i dont really know where to start. |
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The assembly-line style factory? |
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I think, if you asked politely, briz, may, or may not, draw you an empty jar. If, however, she placed the (P.H), I might have issues. So might po, and all the other women who inhabit the bakery. (Beware, if you bring back [Mephista], you might also conjure up a' many of old bakers.) |
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This product would be useful for treating paraphiliacs (fetishists) -- people who take sexual pleasure from something other than sex. It's difficult for a patient to imagine what sex and cunnilingus are like if he's never done them, and yet somehow the patient -- if he's in therapy -- must "develop a taste" for it if he is to become sexually normal. |
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I'd imagine it's not unlike developing a taste for olives or for brie cheese, if you've never had them before. It takes time. Vagina Jam can help. |
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Once again, I've voted + for this idea. |
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Once-again, I voted against. |
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You can take the bolts out of its neck and paint over the stitches, but the villagers with pitchforks are still going to pay a visit. |
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have you been to ann summers? or a psychiatrist. fishbone for you, it seems you like fish anyway |
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First ever vote on this one: [-]. I don't think it would go well on toast. |
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OH MY GOD!!!! I've just read the Girlscent link. I am totally lost for words.... |
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If I was forced to vote on this I'd bone it, but since I'd also have to bun the chuckle that Vaginataran gave me, I'd have to stay neutral. |
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I only regret that I have but one croissant to give for vagina jam. |
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I would give another + for his latest comment, if I could. |
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Anyone remember that scene from 'White Mischief' where the crazy old bird dampens Charles Dance's dead lips with some of her own 'jam' straight from the source. I would suggest whipping out a big pot of 'VJ' would have been much more preferrable. |
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<useless trivia> the band Pearl Jam were named after one of the band members Auntie Pearl who made them pots of Jam. I'm not sure if she followed BenFrosts recipe> |
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I had a grilfriend whose name was Sushi, but she didn't smell like fish ! |
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I'm happy to see VJ is doing better this time (+27 -78). |
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Perhaps after the HB crash of 2008 and its subsequent resurrection, it will even earn a net plus! |
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bliss: PH? some kind of acidity test? |
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Oy... this is weird... and in british terms: queer. I would visit the links but right now... I'm at school. Surrouded by people... Lol this is hilarious! |
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I wouldn't have a clue what this woudl taste like... EEEEEWWWW... Just imagine all the diseases and nasty stuff you would get in it! And |
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//though of 80 year old grandmothers in sweatshops rubbing themselve over a long conveyorbelt of empty jars, while old Bing Crosby plays over the PA system... I don't think I'm ever going to sleep again, thx.// I never thought I would forget about a certain deleted thread on www.halomods.com but I forgot aobut it within a day... man that little "fantasy" is absolutely WROONG!!!! |
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"like the taste" I bet you do. |
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po, oh please don't force me to type out the p.hair word. It's tough, just too tough for me. Uhmm, public hare, pubic heir... |
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<wakes up> Oh. Is it time to vote down vagina jam again? Here ya go. (-) It just doesn't do anything for me, Ben. </back to sleep> |
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Ahh... the discussion of male and female reproduction functions and reactions... just gets me so... h**ny.. |
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k_sra. why? this makes Tracy Emin a cartoonist! |
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I jsut saw that second opinion link, YUCK! GAY! GROSS11 |
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great for attracting Vagina Ants |
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Did anyone else see the current Courvoisier XO Imperial outdoor ad and be reminded of this posting? |
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Haven't seen it. Please describe. |
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Curvoisier XO Imperial ? my google search says it is a type of wine. what kind of tv stations are u watching? |
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Well, technically, it is a wine; a wine that has been distilled and is commonly known as Cognac. Brandies are similar. |
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"...it is not recommended that you allow your partner to come in your mouth or for you to swallow his semen because of the possible risk of HIV infection..." |
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Is there some logic behind this that I am missing? By "partner", do they intend this to be read as "random strange person"? |
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Well, then, see? Brandy is indeed similar. |
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<While [k_sra] blissfully slumbers, [spacemoggy] quietly negates her negative..... + > I'm so glad that the crash has somehow magically resurrected this idea. It was annoying to read so many references to it on the HB, but not be able to find it anywhere. I always assumed from the name that it was jam especially designed to be applied to the vagina to mask the taste. But in fact it's kind of the opposite. Kudos to [benfrost]. |
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[Dr Furtz]: "all vaginas do not taste the same." |
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I see an opportunity for brand expansion. A whole line of different flavors for different predelictions, from "Country fresh" to "Curiously strong." |
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Perverted compared to what? Most men I've known have had a fixation on some particular "part." A fixation on breasts is more common but no less perverted. |
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And breasts are also about food |
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It's not stupid, either. I think it would be very popular amongst a certain segment of the population. OK, maybe not you. |
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maybe if it came in a tube, such that when you took off the lid there was a little vagina shaped opening that you could squeeze the jam out of. |
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As one who is conditioned, possibly hardwired to like the flavor, in most of it's variations, I still don't know about a jam. |
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Now, a cologne, THAT would be an idea...... |
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A lot more guys might wash their hands if they could then dip their fingers in such a scent. |
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Susan's post reminds me of a radio show that I heard a couple of nights ago that, in turn, reminded me of a little ditty that was occasionally heard around the school playground...
Milk, milk, lemonade
Round the back the chocolate's made.
Eeeeeeew! |
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DrBob, it sounds like either you haven't had much exposure to breastfeeding, or that was a very odd radio show. Are you sure you're a real doctor? |
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im sure he says something similar to every patient at his gynacology clinic |
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Milk milk lemonade chocolate (with appropriate hand actions) was used repeatedly in limited-appeal UK sketch show "Chewin' The Fat." |
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Nothing in a can or jar is ever as good
as the real or fresh thing. The best
thing about this idea, is the sheer
disgust articulated by many. It's almost
worth a bun. |
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I'm surprised this idea keeps getting churned. It's got staying power, I'll give it that. |
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What about the chia-vagina? Mix seeds into this jam, spread them onto a pottery crotch, and grow a small bush. |
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is it measured in knobs, dollops or pats? |
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sticks even? Oh, that might be knob butter. |
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Sorry Pa've, not a valid reason to m-f-d. |
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//And the nest time // Oh do tell me that wasn't an intentional typo! |
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//the Bakery is veering into a ravine of slime// - It's always veering into one ravine or another, this month it's slime, next month it will be millinery. |
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//the Bakery is veering into a ravine// We'll head it off at the pass. |
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I think this idea works as a sort of gold standard for bad ideas. When people read an idea they think is dreadful, they can compare it to this one and it doesn't seem so bad, and when people think of an idea, they can also think "is this as bad as vagina jam?" and if they decide it is, they can refrain from posting it, thereby sparing everyone from even worse ideas. It also falls into the "so bad it's good" category. Maybe that's what the positive votes indicate. |
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//ravine of slime//
Interesting negative imagery, there [Pa`ve]. |
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this idea has 38 +'s.more than your average, I'd say. |
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of course, you could say it was a recipe! |
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//they can also think "is this as bad as vagina jam?" and if they decide it is...// - that sounds like a challenge to me. I don't think I've ever thought of something this horrible, but I'll keep trying. |
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I don't know why everyone's so upset about this. The human race would not exist if bodily excretions could not be ingested. And honey is bee sick. You eat that dontcha? |
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ok, so i have tasted many real human women's vaginas before - and perhaps that may be gross to Pa've, or some people etc - but the fact remains that it can be a wonderful aroma. |
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I have experienced some not so delightful nether regions, which can be attributed to factors such as time of the month, personal hygiene and/or an animalistic clash of non-comparitive pheremones. |
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I have little experience in the aroma of men's genital areas, but i would gather it is far more foul than anything in a women's bits etc. |
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This product would be designed to simulate the best of these smells - and as outlined is artificially sweetened - so that it has some sense of nourishment. It would be perfected to resemble as generally as possible the delightful sniff of the most glorious of female secretions. |
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Imagine an old man in his 90's, who could have this every morning with his earl grey, reminiscing the days gone by - celebrating womanhood in the same way you would partake of jesus' blood at an altar. |
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Surely it is a celebration of the body - and a trigger to recall past experiences. Smelling the remains of someone on my person after having made love to them is a fantastic resonance of that person - especially in the knowledge I may never see them again, or even better if I will. It is the base essence of a shared intensity that is the basis of two people joining as one. |
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I guess if you are married and the passion has left your relationship, or you have never savoured the taste of vagina if you are a straight female - or even an unpopular male etc - then this may well be a disgusting post. |
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Herein lies the explanation, why simply because an idea has the word 'vagina' in it doesn't mean it is 'gross'. |
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Though of course, a lot of my other ideas are just blatantly gross. |
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I'm with you most of the way, I just don't think it would be nice on toast. |
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Serving suggestion: on fresh pussy. |
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I've been wondering what the ingredients of this jam might be. [Unabubba] suggested anchovy paste four years ago. I assume beer would also be a main ingredient (in fact, I think the primary appeal of beer to men is that it approximates the smell of a vagina). Dried flowers, ground and blended with sardines, could be added to taste. |
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Add a dash of one of the more pungent French cheeses...... |
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u are trying to ascribe negative smells via sardines and french cheese , when in fact i think the smell is in fact a little more palatable. |
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I take your point that it's interesting to speculate about why people find this disgusting. However, i would find any food made in the shape of a genital disgusting, and i think this might be similar. There's an anthropological theory that says that anything that falls between categories is perceived as disgusting, the example quoted at the time being a flying squirrel, because in a sense it's neither a bird nor a mammal. This falls between the categories of sex and eating. Maybe that's why people don't like it. Then again, so does oral sex and that's not disgusting. Incidentally, has anyone else ever read "Tubs of Slaw" by Rachel Pollack? |
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//i would find any food made in the shape of a genital disgusting// |
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the idea is not made in the shape of a genital. |
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I mean something that reminds me of sex while i'm eating, or vice versa. I would find it off-putting if i was suddenly reminded of sushi during an erotic episode, for example. On the other hand, people who are keen on doing certain things with dairy products not directly associated with eating might be more comfortable with your preserve. |
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[benfrost] I don't think they're negative; they are something you need to develop a taste for. I used to not like strong French cheeses; now I love them. I used to detest beer; now I just don't like it. |
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Anyway, I think developing a taste for this jam would go a long way in aiding people with low sex drive (or worse: misdirected sex drive), to grow accustomed and habituated to the real thing. |
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It's an important and even therapeutic product. |
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//misdirected sex drive// |
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Best euphemism of the week. |
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//euphamism // Best euphespelling of the week. |
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I was cheerfully reading this earlier on while eating my chicken sandwich when squeak's anno made me want to throw up. |
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Euphamism Euphecorrected. Euphethank you. |
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Would you like to here the exact ingredients of some other delights as well [po}?
<snigger, snigger> |
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Hmmmm... Black Pudding and Haggis... Tasty tasty! |
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A *jam* is what musicians often call it when they just get together and play. Also, traffic can involve a *jam*. I don't think this helps, but it creates interesting mental pictures for Vagina-Jam. |
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and what kind of instruments will they be playing? |
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skin flute? Or maybe something in the string section(yikes)? |
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"And now the sex-traffic. Long vagina tailbacks are reported in the region of Sharon Skeggs due to sheer volume of traffic.... |
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...this just in. Eve Ensler's basement flooded as natural dike is formed by vagina monologue jam. |
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I know this idea was created when I was thirteen, but I have to say, I enjoy the scent of a woman definitely, if not always the taste. |
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I still wouldn't want a jar of it to be discovered in my house. Retro-active bun [+]. |
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I've finally read it. S'alright. |
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I can't take this site entirely seriously if we have a [food: genital] category. |
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Had you heretofore been taking the site seriously? |
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Well you teaching about a million folks how to spell alot, helped, a lot. Unless of coarse your a stickler for such thngs. |
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I'm assuming you masturbate with this. Haven't read all the anno's but... |
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If it had yeast, would that make it:
'Self Raising Vagina Jam'? |
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I just read most of this for the first time and don't really know what to think. I guess I'm off to invent Penis Butter. |
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Temper, temper. If you're not careful the toads will get cha. |
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Didn't you hear [Abusementpark]? It doesn't taste like fish at all. *link* |
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Disturbing on so many levels... [+/-/I don't even know anymore] |
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But I have to agree with [Wagster], though. At the very least, not on toast. |
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I've only just found this, it was referred to in some other post. Forgive me if this has already been covered, I stopped reading the annos at around the late 2004 era. |
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The idea is not to package actual human excretions, it is to create a synthetic version. |
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I think the real issue is the design of the jar. |
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How did I miss seeing this for so long? |
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As mentioned by another member, I have a feeling that the taste and smell of such a product, when removed from the actual experience, would not be quite so pleasant. From personal experience (college roommates and their girlfriends), I find the smell nearly offensive when it's not from my lover, but I'm easily aroused when I know that it is my lover's scent. I don't know that I would be aroused by something synthetic. |
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Personal preference also varies greatly. Some of us prefer the taste and smell of a freshly washed woman, some of us like it when it's rather ripe. Some of us like it somewhere in between. |
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Now, with the advent of personalized perfumes, it may be possible to take a sample scented garment, and have a matching scent synthesized... |
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Why simulated hair? Do they have less propensity to get stuck in your teeth? |
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I'm now just waiting for Peni - Cheese! |
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Wow! Genital based food products seem to be wildly un-popular with this crowd. |
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Looks like I'll bail on my idea for a urethral discharge themed butter despenser. |
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More like both wildly popular *and* (even more) wildly unpopular. |
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This is up again? Did you actually read this far? Are you reading this.....sorry......okay vagina jam. Thought you he was suggesting something to jam a vagina with. |
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What??? OOOkay...backs away slowly. |
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//I'd imagine it's not unlike developing a taste for olives or for brie cheese, if you've never had them before. It takes time. Vagina Jam can help.// |
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Of course, on the other hand, yikes! |
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I would probably switch to Vagina Jam. |
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If the two ideas were beside each other,
you could toggle between them..... or
perhaps they could be merged into a
single idea - a Vagina Jam Pot with a
Panic Pin protected lid. |
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I've never yet voted on this idea. I simply cannot make up my mind. Perhaps the next time it makes the front page. |
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Thisisa great idea, much better than pussy-peanut butter |
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I have to fishbone this one. Even though now that I think of it, I actually can remember once having a burger which tasted like vagina. I believe I neglected to wash my hands properly. It was a confusing experience. You know, bite this, taste that... boy, did that girl have strong odours... |
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It got my bun because it's funny. Can't say fairer than that. |
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I'm not even gonna mention the phrase "penis butter" |
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//icky icky icky// ... meaning 'drink up', in Japanese. (You have to picture a crowd of rampant Japanese frat-boy types chanting this to the new kid with the too-large shot of sake). |
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Please see my previous anno from October 2007. |
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Imagine getting this mixed up in a grade schooler's bagged lunch. |
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Imagine, jam with no mention of bees anywhere. |
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Yeah, what [rayfordsteele] said; not enough banjoes. |
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Given the time at which this idea was
posted, and given the time at which
cosmological theories underwent
something of an arse-over-tit upheaval, is
it possible that what scientists believe to
be 'dark energy' is just a manifestation of
the inherent desire of all matter in the
universe to distance itself from this idea? |
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I'm worried about the 58 (+) votes. They give this a chance to happen. |
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Absolutely and at that level the product would be a tremendous success. Curiosity would get consumers handling the product then one in four would want to buy it. Even if just as a gag gift that would never be consumed. |
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It is the ultimate office secret santa gift. |
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<shrugs> Can't help it </shrugs> |
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Now would this, like olive oil, come in the virgin variety? |
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If not virgin, at least organic. |
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I must remain undecided on this one at this time. |
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Hadn't you noticed that before? |
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Well, strangeness can be quite broad. [Jutta], the combination of ingredients on that drink is really not good news. Siberian ginseng and guarana together are likely to mess up the adrenals in a pretty long-term way. |
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Leaning over with a plate of warm fresh scones, I
distinctly remember grandmother offering me to
sample her home-made marmalade. |
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Sprinkled with some Grandpas special parmesan flakes, that he always kept in his cloth cap, perhaps? |
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You re a sick man, benfrost, but the kind of sick that is admirable. |
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Exactly, but some people don't appreciate that or they think it's irrelevant. Not me, i might add. |
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I'm somewhat disappointed that this churn wasn't prompted by an hob illustration. |
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What's your image of vagina jam? I just see it as looking like vaseline with pubic hairs in it. |
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Probably something like, eh, front and centre a close up of a jar of VJ, packaging styling very much reminiscent of Marmite, while in the background, arrayed around the jar and coloured in that pale primary style of Gilroy's Guinness ads, are images related to the product itself: pale, serious looking young lad bringing toast and VJ breakfast-in-bed to parents flushed red with the annoyance of coital interruption; a kindly, wrinkly old granny in a nicotine-coloured cardigan looking at the jar, licking her lips; a couple of nubile late-1950s housewives enjoying a cuppa and a VJ buttie; a cheeky milkman, resting with his feet up on the wheel of his float, foil wrapped VJ sandwiches in his lap, delight on his pus at the packed lunch his good lady wife has prepared for him. All of which will sit atop a large strong font message: "VAGINA JAM: TASTY AS" (or something). |
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Has that got the New World Symphony in the background, [calum]? |
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I'm convinced that the best way to express my positive appreciation and approval of the inventiveness of this idea now is to perversely add to its bone count. Here's another one [-] |
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Actually, having thought about it some more, and having been blessed enough to witness the current UK TV advert for webuyanycar dot com (I would post a link to the ad, were I not so thoroughly restricted in my lunchtime browsing), I think that the illo advert should stay as is, a throwback attractive to the Classic FM listening older set and the TV advert should go for the watered down happy hardcore rambunctiousness of said ad, with basic flash animation, "Vagina Jam" said over and over again and, most importantly, a banging donk on it. |
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calum you are just as sick as ben. + |
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We should get extra "churn" votes. |
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[+], again if i could [BenFrost]. |
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LOL what a hilarious find...Its been on this site since 2001 and this is the 1st time seeing it. Too Funny! |
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What a great link. She did good for ben, I think. |
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oh vagina jam. . how i love you |
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Ben, if you build it, people will come. |
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will this idea never die?? |
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you just HAD to bump it didn't you... |
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//will this idea never die??// |
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Apparently, the really good ones and the really bad
ones never do. |
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Annotating this idea seems to have become sort of
a rite of passage. I'm in! Or out...whatever. [-] |
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I'm honored on my birthday, that vagina jam was resurrected. It makes me proud to be a baker. |
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a happy vagina-jam birthday, my lovely blissy! |
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off to beddy byes wondering why there is a hyphen between vagina and jam. I'll probably have nightmares or wonderful dreams... |
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That hyphen is curious. If it weren't for the
description, I would think this was a situational
thing...like "I cannot get this @%$*#¿! vagina open!" |
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A strange co-incidence; I was noticing the hyphen myself yesterday, and pondering its significance. |
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In another sense of the term, many many men have
been in situations which could easily be called 'a
vagina-jam'. |
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we're really, really not going to ask ... |
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Remember: A bad idea is like a bad analogy. It's bad. |
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Dave: I'm in a jam.
Steve: What kind of jam?
Dave: A vagina jam.
Steve: Oh, I'm glad you're not in a pickle then. |
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Ah... Vagina Jam has resurfaced again. |
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i recommend vagina jam for turkey stuffing this xmas |
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I recommend stuffing vaginas this xmas. |
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That'll hold off the righteous babester. |
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I think this resurfaces when you have some kind of infection... |
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Always nice to see one of the classics bob to the surface. |
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I almost resurfaced this last month, but I resurfaced aoln instead. See
new link here though. Apparently begins bread has existed since the
17th century. Just press dough against vagina, knead let rise, and
bake. |
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//pervert him through a reversal of Communion with
the end of symbolically and physically consuming
him.// |
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Yeah if the thick language wasn't enough to put me
off that did the rest. It's like all the symbology
prescribed to a scene in Huckleberry Finn
before Samuel Clemens told them it was just a raft. |
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in the 7 years or more i've been coming to half
bakery. i've never seen so many votes on a single
idea. |
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just for that , you got my bun! |
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Possibly the best thing on the entire internet. |
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Happy Birthday Ben Frost. Your idea will live forever
in our hearts. |
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This should be available, lightly flavored in different nationalities. |
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Recently, I had the good fortune to try some curry-laden cuisine. |
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Did it taste like chicken ? |
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//just for that , you got my bun!// |
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You will notice, [slab], that he made appropriate use
of capital letters, punctuation and the category
system. |
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We forgive almost anything here, with the exceptions
of stupidity and laziness. And we're not sure about
stupidity. |
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MikeD, wait til you try fresh lumpia ;) |
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Come back [benfrost]..... much missed in a tidal wave of halfbakery mediocrity :-( |
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This doesn't seem to have been churned yet this year.
You're welcome. |
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Oh God no. What next, Unrequited Love? |
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Why does this thing keep coming back? |
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And what happened to having hundreds of people
vote for ideas? We only get a couple of dozen or so at
the most these days. We need to get Halfbakery
viewership back up! |
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Unfortunately, or fortunately I don't se Jutta buying
into any click-bait promotion schemes. "See what
diet experts are saying about 'Skinny Monkey
Slimming Shoes'! It this the way to melt fat
effortlessly?" |
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Yes, i agree. i think the bakery needs a reset. An updated
energy that can compete with other diversions. I see old
timers come back to visit, on occasion, but then they drop
off the planet again. And the new folks are great, but don't
seem to stay, and I'm betting lack of activity and voting is
part of it. |
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Are there any moderators anymore? I don't even know that.
Used to. |
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So there, on "vagina jam", on one of the best worst ideas
ever, I have spoken my piece for all of eternity. Thank you
[doctorremulac3] for bring this issue up to the commuity. |
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I'll confess I keep disappearing for a while because I keep forgetting my password :( |
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Here, you can use mine. It's *********. |
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Please don't mess with the membership! |
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[norm]: Your password is hunter2 also? |
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Every time I come back to this idea, it's worse than I
remembered. |
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Besides that, there is something human beings find
admirable (regardless of their varying degrees of
distaste or arousal) about that which (seemingly)
cannot die, like cockroaches or cheese-in-a-can. |
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The resilience of cockroaches is exaggerated. Native
British cockroaches are endangered. The ones we see in
buildings here are invasive species from elsewhere. The
American Cockroach relies in many parts of the world on
human beings for food supply and climate control.
Without us they would die off pretty quickly. |
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So to apply those concepts to this idea, is there a native
British version of it which is endangered somewhere on
the HB? And, is there something about the environment
as manufactured by halfbakers which sustains this idea? |
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One More Thing: I read [blissmiss]'s last anno on
this one, and was shocked to discover I fell into two
of her categories --- so, to correct at least one of
them, I hereby give this idea a BONE [ - ]. My great
aunt Mary once fell ill with a dreadfully high fever.
That, coupled with a yeast infection, gave her the
worst case of muffins you ever saw. |
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