h a l f b a k e r yPoint of hors d'oevre
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After all the edible flora has been consumed around the crash
site open your utility knife against the resistance of a spring
and place your last scavenged seed on the trigger mechanism.
[link]
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So, turn every utility knife into a hair trigger switchblade? |
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And if you happen to meet the Pope out there in the
woods, you can have him declare any muskrats you catch
to be fish. That way you won't have to go back to starving
to death every Friday. |
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But seriously, how exactly does this 'trap' anything worth
eating? |
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//So, turn every utility knife into a hair trigger switchblade?//
I'll take two. |
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I need some clarification here: by 'utility knife', do you
mean the kind with disposable trapezoidal blades that
slide into the handle with a thumb toggle, are you thinking
of a Swiss Army knife/pocket folder kind of thing? |
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I was hoping by "utility knife" he meant bigass hunting knife. |
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// After all the edible flora has been consumed // |
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Logically, your first action was to consume all the edible fauna. |
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Now the edible flora has gone. |
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You're now in what is, for all practical purposes, a desert. What, exactly, are you intending to trap ? |
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I meant multitool like swiss army knife. It would possibly
trap small game like squirrels that would be otherwise
impossible to capture. Not really a switchblade because
only the closure is springloaded. |
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With all edible flora first consumed the fauna will be
forced to enter the trap to get the last remaining seed. |
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Do I have access to a length of cord or wire? A bootlace,
possibly? Because I can trap a squirrel with a bootlace and
a pair of sticks. It's
not hard to trap a squirrel. The difficulty is in trying to
derive sustenance from one. |
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// I was hoping by "utility knife" he meant bigass hunting
knife. // |
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No, that's a combat/utility knife. Sadly, many people
associate them with violence, making it unfashionable to
wear my Ka-Bar when traveling abroad. |
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No cord or close substitute is obtainable. |
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Thanks for sharing that non-sequitur, [bigs]. Now, back in your box, like a good little gimp ... |
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// many people associate them with violence // |
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We associate them with "being an essential tool for staying alive in difficult places". |
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So I have my squirrel-trapping pocket folder but not my
boots? I mean, even if forced to eat my boots, I'd still keep
the laces, just in case I found a couple of sticks and
fancied me some squirrel. |
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Alright, I'll be serious for a moment. Any folding knife
designed to snap shut with enough force to kill a small
animal will also do so with enough force to sever a finger.
I don't like it. |
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That is why I mock. I mean, how drunk would I have to be
to leave the house with my knife, but not my boots?
Wandering around the woods with no pants I can see--
actually, I have seen it, but even that guy had his boots
on. |
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// We associate them with "being an essential tool for
staying alive in difficult places". // |
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As do I, but generally I shorten it to 'an essential tool'. |
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We hate it when we agree with you. It makes us feel uncomfortable. It's happening all too often of late. |
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I know. We should fight more. E-mail at fifty paces? |
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Good to know, if I'm ever out that way. One thing I can say
for certain is that they are NOT a reccomended fashion
accessory in Florida, even deep in the Everglades. |
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National Park Rangers can arrest people. Who knew? |
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// a sword is considered frowned upon by law
enforcement // |
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I have never been hassled by police when wearing a sword
in public. I think it's so unexpected that they don't really
register it. The one and only time a cop has asked me
about my sword, it went just like this: |
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Cop: "Is that sword real?" |
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Cop: "Can I have a look at it?" |
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[The Alterother], drawing sword and presenting hilt-first:
"Careful, it's sharp." |
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Cop: "It's pretty cool." (Cop hands sword back) |
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[The Alterother]: "Thanks, it was a wedding present from
my uncle." |
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