h a l f b a k e r yBaker Street Irregulars
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This looks very like a regular "outhouse", but with a variation.
The user enters, closes the door, and seats themselves, placing their feet on the conveniently-positioned set of bicycle-like pedals. As their weight descends on the seat, a sign is revealed which reads "PLEASE START PEDALLING".
As
the user pedals, an auger below the unit bores a hole into the soil and lifts the material up into a hopper. This process also stores energy, either in a spring or a flywheel.
When a cyclometer determines that enough energy has been stored, and the hole is deep enough, the auger is swung clear and the sign changes to read "YOU MAY BEGIN NOW". A quantity of toilet paper is dispensed.
When the user has completed their mission, they stand up and leave the outhouse. As the door closes, the contents of the hopper are dropped into the hole, refilling it, and then the whole structure crawls slowly forward on its tracks to position the auger over a fresh bit of ground, rolling over the latest hole as it does so and tamping it.
The mechanism is entirely mechanical and designed to need the absolute minimum of maintenance. Standard parts (bicycle components) and materials (angle iron, bolts) are used wherever possible so that it can be repaired with nothing more than facilities and equipment found on a typical farm.
Suitable for deployment only on suitably level terrain and appropriate surfaces.
[link]
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I was going to say "this augurs well". [+] But of course, the last
thing you would want to do is operate it near the well. |
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Ya might want to set it up in advance, depending on how urgent the morning routine is. |
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Now if there was a seed and additive hopper, this would be the slowest field sowing ever. But good things do take time. |
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What if you just forgot to chew your muesli? |
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In that case you can probably manage without any sort of sanitary facility until you get back to an urban area, and very likely for some time afterwards too. Medical assistance may be needed. |
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Biologically not favorable. Have you ever tried pedaling and
pinching when you're minutes or seconds from dropping a
deuce or a much more squirty one? |
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Good point, [Ray]. Suppose the pedaling and augering
were done ahead of time like after the previous day's
usage. Then when you hurry in and drop trou the pit is
already dug and waiting; drop your bomb, fire for
effect, and pedal a bit for tomorrow. |
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I could see Dr Seuss drawing this. |
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"When feeling the urge to be dropping a deuce,
the pedal-dig poop hut can be of great use." |
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Wow. Big old bun for you for coming up with this
excellent idea. This, coming from a former "outhouse"
user, I give it the stamp of approval. (If you could do
something about the humongous spiders that frequent
it, I'd even pay more for the upgrades.) |
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"Every outhouse comes with its own resident community of bats, trained to predate spiders" ? |
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// pedal a bit for tomorrow // |
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It would have to be configured not to release the door catch until the requisite amount of pedaling has been performed. That does obviate the need for the flywheel/spring mechanism. |
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Is it laziness to have a buffing mechanism? |
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