Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Underwear Plants

 For less-nervous public speakers
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One often hears the advice that when speaking before a group of people, the nervous orator should alleviate his or her anxiety by imagining the audience in their underwear. This is not an easy thing to do for those not gifted with a vivid imagination, so I propose the employment of underwear plants.

Underwear plants are professional audience members whom you can hire to sit in the front row wearing nothing but underwear* and shoes. For an additional fee they will ask very easy questions at the end of your talk.

*Including sock garters, wife-beater undershirts, bloomers, polka-dot boxers, and bras with tassels. Gender conventions are not necessarily observed.

—AO, Dec 10 2003

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       The plants would have to be people that the speaker would find unattractive. Could be quite distracting otherwise.
—squeak, Dec 10 2003