h a l f b a k e r yViva los semi-panaderos!
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Take an oxygen mask and attach it to a very strong mini vacuum. This thermos sized vacuum (or can-of-vacuum) will "suck" in split second bursts 4 or 5 times with each pull of the trigger. So, should you have a half-chewed hotdog lodged in your larynx, and no one is around, grab the Unchokerator from
next to the fire extinguisher, get a good seal around your mouth and pull the trigger. Four WOOEMPHs later and the blocked bolus is a bygone.
Warning: may dislodge fillings, tongue piercings, taste buds and uvulas.
<cough>
quuch-quuch-qchk-qchk_20aid
[po, Jul 31 2007]
Throat-E-Vac
http://cgi.ebay.it/...67589QQcmdZViewItem
A now obsolete device of this type, that is still being sold abroad. Or for use on animals. Superceded by the Heimlich, it turns out. (And you can give yourself a Heimlich, theoretically.) [DrCurry, Jul 31 2007]
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Not to mention imploding your eardrums ... but I like it anyway. A Harsh but Effective bun for you today. |
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+ it seems like a good idea... |
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Not at all sure this would work. You might just get a machine-ful of tongue. |
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Just don't get mixed up in the hurry and grab the fire extinguisher. |
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The idea sounds like I won't survive trying it out in the store. |
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If anyone ever really does figure out the anti-choking machine, it'll be huge. |
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I'm not sure a face-sucker or automatic stomach-puncher is it, though. Maybe some kind of robotic, prehensile tendril that snakes down your throat and removes lodged food (and 1 time out of 100, your lungs). |
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These things are essentially Baked (see link). Just search on "anti-choking device," and ignore the stuff about cars. |
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So, um, it seems I was wrong. |
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I fear this might also double as a "marital aid." |
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When I was a *small* child (about 40 years ago) I choked on a hard sweetie at school. My teacher threw me to the ground, picked me up by the ankles, and thumped my back while holding me upside down. |
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The candy popped straight out. A technique you might want to commit to memory if you ever see a child choking. I can imagine it would be rather difficult to perform on an adult... |
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I can still remember *very clearly* what it was like not to be able to breathe when you really really need to. It's *far* worse than holding your breath, or even accidentally opening your mouth underwater. |
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/picked me up by the ankles, and thumped my back while holding me upside down./ |
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Did the teacher thump you while holding your ankles? I'm visualising either impressively big hands, or impressively skinny ankles. Alternatively I guess the teacher could have just worked your back with a knee. |
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This is starting to sound like a medical version of the Kamasutra.
(Hm, do you think that book would sell?) |
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I had to teach my mother the Heimlich manuver while I had a chunk of blueberry pie in my throat. Fortunately, Mom was a *very* quick study. And [gtoal] - I agree. Absolutely unforgettable sensation. |
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The Heimlich works by pushing the blockage out, I think sucking would just collapse the windpipe. |
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What's needed is a trained Python. |
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