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Um Filter

respect the language.
  (+6, -1)
(+6, -1)
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against]

"Um" (var. "Ummm" "Uhmm", "mmm", "uhhh", "errmm") has a use in informal vocal speech: it indicates a "think break". However, and I can't stress this enough, the proper usage is "I'm not sure we're on the same page" or, more rarely, "I regret in advance what I'm going to say next", not "I haven't put enough forethought into the conversation, nor sufficient drugs into/outof my system yet, to converse in a timely responsible fashion".

"The sky is fuschia and I found only three spiders in my hair this morning."
"Umm...."

Anyways...

The Um Filter is an app that scouts ahead in a buffered media stream, for "umm"s. Words that actually do end in "um" can be left intact since the filler "um" usually has a more extended "mmmm".

The offensive syllable is then simply replaced, by ambient background, or a selection of bird and animal noises.

Further filters are in the development stage.

FlyingToaster, Feb 01 2013

Oh, come on. http://www.youtube....watch?v=UYcz4dGtH1I
The companies these guys represent are *big* names. I'd have dissed the interviewer too but I tend to sound like that before the first cuppa the day. One can only assume a hella convention party the night before.. [FlyingToaster, Feb 01 2013]

Unlisted ums http://www.youtube....watch?v=o7dQeya15UE
This isn't even all of them from one four minute video [nineteenthly, Feb 01 2013]

Astrojet space scramjet https://www.youtube...watch?v=Lfwg6nQqv-0
Mentioned in my anno. [notexactly, Jan 15 2016]

[link]






       You know ... [+]
baconbrain, Feb 01 2013
  

       ...and stuff...
normzone, Feb 01 2013
  

       Strange though it may seem, since i've been making YouTube vids every day i've spent ages looking at the wave form of my "ums" and can now recognise them by sight alone. However, their M's can be just as short as the ones at the end of "mum" or "come" and they tend to run into the next word without a break. Having said that, i like your idea and wonder if i can do something in Audacity to take them out. I suppose also that it might be easier to train oneself to avoid using words which contain the syllable "um" than not to um at all.
nineteenthly, Feb 01 2013
  

       well... some people use the rather versatile "f*ck". But the usage is different: rather than separating (sub)phrases like "umm" does, "f*ck" simply fits into the conversation mostly as grammatically correct superfluous adjectives and exclamations, delivering the same content without pauses.   

       [19thly] do you ever use a script? or just keep the flow ad-hoc.
FlyingToaster, Feb 01 2013
  

       Train yourself not to use "umm", "you know", "Then you turn around and", "aaanndd" or any other of these prolongation devices people use, usually as a placeholder to ensure they don't lose the floor to someone talking in the space they would other wise use.   

       This would be a good alternative to the above, [FT]. I have seen/heard very senior politicians using prolongation devices. This is something I find annoying in the extreme. People who make their living from words should know better.
UnaBubba, Feb 01 2013
  

       People on the internet send me emails every week offering me 'prolongation devices' and pills.
AusCan531, Feb 01 2013
  

       Here the beef with umming seems to be based on its use in discussion / conversation, rather than in a recorded presentation, where the proposed idea would work. That said, I have seen too many talks, presentations and webinars where umming and use of other crutches (essentially, the thing is, to be clear) is utterly distracting. If the playback ums were replaced with beeps or chainsaw noises, it could work as a training tool.
calum, Feb 01 2013
  

       Um guilty. +
blissmiss, Feb 01 2013
  

       I do use a script and ad lib a lot, but to use a script introduces the dangers of it becoming obvious that i'm reading and of losing eye contact. In fact i use the script as a prop in a few videos.   

       Off-topic a bit, but i've often wondered why more HB stuff isn't on YouTube.
nineteenthly, Feb 01 2013
  

       ^villagers with pitchforks spring to mind.
FlyingToaster, Feb 01 2013
  

       Don't read anything into it [nineteenthly] but you look almost exactly what I've pictured you as.   

       [edit: notwithstanding that I've probably seen at least one of your videos over the years]
FlyingToaster, Feb 01 2013
  

       Ha, great link ninteenthly, so glad I'm in good company.
blissmiss, Feb 01 2013
  

       Oh I was thinking Um Filler!!
xandram, Feb 01 2013
  

       Speech with no filler words sounds unnatural. It's one of the clues that someone on the radio is reading off a card.
ytk, Feb 01 2013
  

       Really, [ytk]? I'd challenge that statement. There are many announcers who are sufficiently professional that they never use "fillers", even in casual conversation.
UnaBubba, Feb 01 2013
  

       Given that i can now recognise the shape of my "ums" along with the fact that they always have a pause before them, i feel sure this is doable, in a similar way to click and noise removal. In fact, for all i know noise removal might actually remove them itself.   

       [FT], funny you should say that because in another place someone said i looked the exact opposite of what they were expecting.
nineteenthly, Feb 02 2013
  

       They were expecting a short, fat woman with a shaven head?
UnaBubba, Feb 03 2013
  

       roughly what [UB] said:   

       I sometimes um, but when I don't, it doesn't mean I'm reading from a card; it means I've thought in advance about what I'm going to say.   

       If you can sustain this face-to-face, even only for the length of the oral equivalent of one good paragraph, it sometimes scares the hell out of people, in a good way.
pertinax, Feb 03 2013
  

       I spent a lot of Tuesday nights teaching Toastmasters courses to people. Sloppy speech habits can be broken down and rebuilt to develop smooth oratory styles.
UnaBubba, Feb 04 2013
  

       Well, seeing as i was calling myself Amanda, at least two of those things is possible, [UB].   

       I'm struggling with it at the moment. I stuttered a bit as a child and the ums came in to replace that really. Maybe if i started scatting i could beat both.   

       I've now selected "um"s from a recording of myself and mixed them together, then used it as a sample for noise reduction. I found that it was an almost complete failure except that it succeeded in removing the "om" in "something".
nineteenthly, Feb 04 2013
  

       Long time ago, [19]. 1992-1994, from memory.
UnaBubba, Feb 04 2013
  

       A variation would be to replace "you know" (or the even more annoying "y'know") with "um" or "mm." Especially for certain CNN International correspondents of the feminine variety, not to pick on anyone in particular.
whlanteigne, Feb 05 2013
  

       Or take her aside and put her through a voice coaching and public speaking course.
UnaBubba, Feb 05 2013
  

       The last time I attempted taking a news correspondent aside, security escorted me from the building and told me not to come back.   

       They did agree with my point about "y'know," and I appreciate that I didn't hit the pavement face first.
whlanteigne, Feb 05 2013
  

       I was suggesting that her employer do it, rather than some mouthbreather from the public gallery.
UnaBubba, Feb 06 2013
  

       // //Off-topic a bit, but i've often wondered why more HB stuff isn't on YouTube//   

       Googles "YouTube". Talkies eh? They will never catch on . //   

       Doubly relevant YouTube video: [link]
notexactly, Jan 15 2016
  
      
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