Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Ultitool

 Ultimate leatherman style multitool in form of 'M'
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A pocket knife with two leatherman mechanisms in the form of an 'M' instead of the popular 'V'. This gives two plier-action tools e.g. locking plier and scissors/wire cutter. Having combed several lists of sought-after features and considering the scenarios I find myself frequently embroiled in (e.g. drunk and on the wrong side, legally speaking, of a US Army nuclear testing site fence, wearing a flight-impeding ostrich costume) I propose the tools below, from a-z in no particular order. Ideally this is a device with which any problem that cannot be solved, can be physically or philosphically remanded into a context wherein it is either irrelevant or desireable.

a. locking plier (aka vise-grip) +wire stripper in one leatherman junction (the hyper-adjustable locking plier with two set screws)

b. scissor/wire cutter in other leatherman junction

c. butane torch suitable for brazing, firestarting, metal cutting, cigarretten

d. laser/flashlight (cutting laser poss.?)

e. voltmeter? halfbakery #1199853964

f. awl

g. can opener/bottle opener

h. titanium samurai blade

i. spool of carbon fiber thread

j. needle

k. screw jack (prise open doors, dislodge boulders etc).

l. bit holder (w. ratchet?) + bits:

i.hex (aka allen) in bike standards

ii. phillips

iii. flathead

iv. Hexalobular (aka torx)t-10,t-15 for computer

v. robertson #2?

vi. variable box-wrench (aka spanner) sizes using russian-doll inserts?

l'. adjustable box wrench if theres no way to get a variable one as a bit, or maybe something like the Black&Decker MSW100 ReadyWrench

m. pen/pencil

n. usb memory

o. stilleto switchblade?

p. spork

q. lanyard ring

r. serrated sheep foot knife blade

s. carabiner style clip

t. serrated edge knife, saw. Saw with usable length can be made with fold-out arm and diamond-dust cable.

u. magnifying glass / monocular

v. diamond coated file

w. sparking device (ferrocerium bar etc) halfbakery #1106090450

v. doodad that accepts jigasaw blades

x. nail clippers

w. marlinspike?

x. magnifying glass large enough to start a fire/boil water at.

y. chisel

z. hoofpick

aa. hand-cranked 5V electrical generator

use various edges for right angles, 30deg., 45 deg references and planes. Made of titanium, fancy-pants steel, etc.

—spalpeen, Nov 28 2011

Gerber Tool http://www.gerber-t...-Black-22-01545.htm
The pliers slide back into the handle to permit it to open fully. [MechE, Nov 28 2011]

[link]






       This is great. My only question is whether it would be easier to just re-design the ostrich costume so that it does not impede flight?
—swimswim, Nov 28 2011
   

       You can get two mechanisms with an N shaped tool, not an M. You might need to start with a gerber mechanism instead of a leatherman though (sliding instead of folding).
—MechE, Nov 28 2011
   

       And don't forget a massive trolley to carry this ridiculous thing around in.
—hippo, Nov 28 2011
   

       >>You can get two mechanisms with an N shaped tool, not an M. You might need to start with a gerber mechanism instead of a leatherman though (sliding instead of folding).   

       Righto! I got ahead of meself. M gets three - the third can be used for a fold-out massive trolley. Do you have a link for the gerber sliding mechanism- all I've found are folding systems and leatherman style scissors-action.
—spalpeen, Nov 28 2011
   

       The butane torch is possible, but would have a very (very, very) limited fuel supply. A small LED flashlight or Diode laser would be possible, but the extra bulk for power makes it of questionable value. A cutting laser isn't going to happen, the smallest is about the size of a forearm and that's without power or any safeguards.   

       Not sure how compact a volt/multimeter can be made, but a live circuit tester (led lights up if any power is present) can be very compact. If you have power for the flashlight anyway, a continuity tester is equally simple. The real problem would be that leads of any useable length would difficult to carry, and if retractable would add significant bulk.   

       The rest are possible, but to keep the thing compact, it might make sense to have them as modular blades where you can mount a selection.
—MechE, Nov 28 2011
   

       We are grief-stricken that we have but one bun to bestow.
—8th of 7, Nov 28 2011
   
      
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