h a l f b a k e r yRIFHMAO
(Rolling in flour, halfbaking my ass off)
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Every couple of generations, the Buchanans tend to build
a
new wing on the old country pile, necessitating the
purchase of new furniture. With the recent opening of
the
nor'-nor'-east wing (housing the tropical arboretum and
the
accordion library), this task has fallen upon me.
Somehow,
when furniture is delivered, it invariably looks
larger, smaller or (in one case) an entirely different
shape
from what the stated dimensions indicated. One is then
left with the tedious task of having one's people re-
package it and send it back.
Therefore, I urge all purveyors of furniture to consider
providing, at little or no cost, simulacra of their wares
constructed of assemblable cardboard.
At its simplest, such a simulacrum might be a large box
(flat packed for delivery) of the same dimensions as the
actual furniture. However, a more origamic
approach
could be used, and combined with colour printing, to
produce a better facsimile of the item.
Such cardboard replicas would not only avoid
embarrassing
misunderstandings over units (such as ordering a book
case
which is 60 inches wide, rather than the intended 60
feet),
but would also make it easy to try out different
arrangements of the putative furniture.
Toc-H
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toc-H
Designs were sent from England in Feet .. the Belgians built them in Metres ... [8th of 7, Mar 30 2012]
Cardboard Furniture
Cardboard_20Furniture
Similar simulacra. Well described by [bookworm] [tatterdemalion, Mar 31 2012]
Bouncy castle technology
Planning_20applicat...20life-size_20model
I hope you use life-size models when your planning your "new wing on the old country pile". [hippo, Mar 31 2012]
Cityscape
http://www.cityscapedigital.co.uk/
see the 'showreel' video [hippo, Mar 31 2012]
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// a full assortment of stool samples which you could place in your own diarrhama // |
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Were they carried in vitreous enamel, or porcelain containers ? |
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We submit that supply of furniture made of cardboard has already been pioneered by MFI Ltd., who made a virtue of the fact that the furniture they sold was rather less substantial and durable (though somewhat more unsightly and tasteless) than the packaging in which it was delivered. |
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//Swatches and miniatures// |
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There, you see, is the problem. The critical factor
here, as in so many aspects of life, is size; and that
is precisely the quality which miniatures fail
adequately to represent. Life-size miniatures are
what are called for here. |
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// Life-size miniatures are what are called for here. // |
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Isn't one of your wings devoted to a 1/5 scale model of the estate ? and a semi-retired retainer devoted to building increasingly miniaturized iterations of the model itself. |
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//a 1/5 scale model of the estate// |
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Bit of an embarassing story there. Belthorpe
("Belcher") Buchanan was in British Malaya back in
the 1880's, and told his people that he wanted a
1:20 replica of the old English homestead
constructed alongside the plantation, as a
reminder of home. |
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Now, to you and I, the difference between "1:20"
and "20:1" is probably quite clear. It was also
quite clear to the Malay workmen, but alas in the
opposite sense to the English usage. |
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You just can't get the staff ... horribly reminiscent of the awful incident of the Laundry Room at the Toc-H house in Poperinghe during the First Lot ... |
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//alas in the opposite sense// The territory is not
the map. |
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Hmm, I would love to see the current architectural drawings as as surely this is Wing 17(b) at the last count? |
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//Now, to you and I, the difference between "1:20" and
"20:1" is probably quite clear. It was also quite clear to the
Malay workmen, but alas in the opposite sense to the English
usage.// |
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That reminds me of the Cambodian mistake when an English
Admiral asked for an "Anchor, what?", to remind him of his ship. |
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Bouncy castle technology is called for here (see
link). |
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Why not have 3D digital pics of the furniture? |
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You can then project these, using one of those mini projectors into/unto the available spaces? A linked computer would allow the images to be turned and manoeuvred correctly to exact scale. (do I get croissants that I can bank for my fab idea?) |
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I know someone who's job is a bit like that - he
incorporates properly rendered and shaded 3D
models of buildings which don't exist into flypast
videos of cities, so that people can see what the
finished buildings will look like (see link). |
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//surely this is Wing 17(b) at the last count?//
We've not had a count in the family since Otto
Friedrich-Buchanan somewhere around the 1740's. |
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//It is now.// Science trumps philosophy. "I refute
it thus." |
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//to remind him of his ship// Must have been senile.
How could an admiral forget his ship? |
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Makes sense. Easy to move and shuffle around. It is so much cheaper you might find yourself never buying the real stuff. |
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Suppose you build a 23 room mansion, but run out of cash in the middle. If the cardboard photographs well, you can pretend your still solvent for several years. Even sell at a profit when real estate market turns up again finally. |
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// pretend your still solvent for several years// I've
been managing it for the last 40. The manager at
Coutts is quite a convinceable person. |
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[xenzag], there is an IKEA tablet app that does "virtual installations" (augmented reality) to show furniture as it might be in your house. I haven't played with it in a while; calibration was a bit tricky. |
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