h a l f b a k e r yProfessional croissant on closed course. Do not attempt.
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When one is in the elements, there isn't always a bathroom
nearby. This would be marketed to outdoorsy types, like hikers,
mountain bikers, and campers. |
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Could this consist of a trunk-like extension to your briefs? Otherwise it might require some sort of elastic harness, increasing the risk of a dreaded strangulation event. |
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Actually, Swim, that would probably work better. Maybe a Velcro
pad to attach to the fly would be ideal? |
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When I gotta go, the cold air is the last thing on my mind. Relief takes precedence over comfort. |
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So... ? It's not as if you have to make a choice between the two.
This is meant to be worn the whole time you're out and about.
With Swim's suggested alteration, this is even easier. |
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girls blouses all - you don't hear the dogs complain! |
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For goodness' sake! Is there not a single male halfbaker who
does not have some kind of peeing-related problem? I'm
with [P]o on this one. |
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I thought this would be a method of luring in and disposing of gliders. |
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My complaint is that if you're wearing gear substantial for weathering the weather, it's a bit of a pain rummaging through the layers. |
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Actually, this idea helps with that, FT. It adds thickness
(remember, this is for *cold* weather) and grip,
making handling with gloves much easier. |
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To solve the gripping problem, you'll need a little crane that extends out from your belt buckle, from which a string tugs at the dirty end of the garment. This will have to be remote controlled, of course, but it eliminates (no pun) the need for directly handling the sensitive equipment. |
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Of course, if you were wearing a wetsuit in the first place, this wouldn't be a problem. |
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2 Fries, if only it was open at the tip! |
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I wouldn't advise wearing one to one of those airports with the full body scanners, don't want explosives experts blowing it up just in case. |
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One solution would be a small disposable tube with a flanged adhesive tip at one end. The flange would attach to a normal condom at the end, the sperm reservoir part having a hole punched in it. Then pull the tube out into the cold, pee into the condom in your pants and throw them all away when done. |
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Very sorry about the first anno's disappearance! I was scrolling
on my phone's touch screen, and accidentally hit the delete
button. There *really* needs to be a confirmation pop-up to
prevent that! I know the subject's been visited before, but Jutta,
could you please add that function???? |
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nooooo my precious anno... preciousssss.... whatever; was it important ? |
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It was the one in which you mentioned the obviousness of
restroom usage and the existance of fur-lined codpieces. It really
was a gem. |
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oh, okay... go to the bathroom before you leave.
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so you mean something like a one-large-fingered glove (you want some protection for the boys too, remember) with a fabric, tethered or velcro flip-cap on the end like on a water-bottle. Just toss it in the wash with the undies every once-in-awhile.
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// Is there not a single male halfbaker who does not have some kind of peeing-related problem? // - [MB]
Strictly speaking, if you did not, yourself, have such a problem, then your question would be redundant.
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It's logically similar to ...
"Do all of you take milk?"
"I don't know."
"I don't know."
"I don't know"
"I don't know"
"Yes." |
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//a large, empty field and stopped to relieve myself in some bushes. Whipped it out, and nearly howled. It was bloody cold out there! //
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This is why it's better to relive yourself in doorways. Much warmer there. |
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I'm not quite sure how to respond to that. |
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I'm pretty sure that heating up the testicles too much can
have negative effects on the spermatozoons. |
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WTF? Who reversed their vote on me? I had 6 buns! I can understand a change of mind, but at least have the decency to explain... |
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I see you're making a ribbed one, 2 fries. That makes it a lot more fun ;) |
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I knew someone who used the hollowed out interior of a coon's tail hat to pleasure himself. That tail might help out in this type of thing. Also, 21, I'll bone the idea cause it's about penises. But maybe later I'll bun it for similar reasons, or maybe I'll just feel like unleashing random kindness. Either way, I'm pretty sure it's all fair game. |
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//I knew someone who used the hollowed out interior of a coon's tail hat to pleasure himself.//
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Mwha?...
...and they admitted it or, like you witnessed it?
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...and could someone explain to me why I feel compelled to ask that? |
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Because you want to give it a try and have finally found a use for that ole coon tailed hat your great grandad left you? |
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Now I understand why he always called it his Davie Cockit hat. |
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Soooo... your suggestion is some kind of permanent insulated attachment to your briefs to coddle and cosset the old chap. A... willy warmer? No, wait. It's a bobble hat for the pecker.
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Just don't forget to detach the fella should you be out and about and unexpectedly attract the physical attentions of a member of whichever sex takes your fancy.
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'Jesus, what's that?'
'Ah, fear not. It's a Trojan Thermal. Look... it unzips by... er... won't be a moment... look, this has never happened before..." |
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Guy in a restaurant notices that the waiter has
cutlery
in his top pocket, and asks why. "Well", says the
waiter, "if a customer drops a
spoon, instead of having to go to the hatch and get
a clean one, I have one here already - saves time!" |
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A bit later, the customer notices, also, that the
waiter has a piece of string hanging out of his
trousers, and he asks why. "Well", says the waiter,
"the string's tied around my
dick. So if I need to go for a pee, I just pull it out
with the string - keeps my hands clean, means I
don't have to stop to wash my hands - saves time!" |
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"Ah", says the customer, "but how do you get your
dick back in your trousers without getting your
hands dirty?" |
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"Easy", says the waiter "I just use the spoon." |
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