TridentAir

A few years ago the Rooskies hit upon the brilliant plan of hiring out their Mig-29’s to anyone with loads of cash. For a few thousand you can now fly one of the fastest things anywhere, ever, and Russia gets some much needed income to keep their machines in the air. Everybody wins.

Very soon there will be another market opportunity. The US currently has 2016 Trident missiles lurking around the worlds seabeds, the UK has 50 (and even that seems a lot, doesn’t it?). Apart from the fact that no one could possibly need that many nukes, Trident as a platform is soon to be retired.

Instead of dismantling Trident, it would be far better to remove the warheads and replace them with fare-paying passengers. There should be enough room for one person to fit inside the warhead compartment and get fired at their chosen destination. A small window in the nose would give them a missiles-eye view of their flight which would be short but exciting. At one mile from the ground, they would be jettisoned along with a static line parachute and allowed to land gracefully while the rest of the missile buries itself deep underground.

While we’re about it, rather than replacing Trident with another very costly method of blowing up millions of people just to balance out Russia’s absurd stockpile of death, we could do a travel/arms deal with Russia whereby holidaymakers are returned by way of aging Russian ICBMs or SLBMs which are ripe for decommissioning.

Travel to Russia in Trident, spend a few days flying a Mig and return in an SS-25 Sickle. My kind of holiday.