Trash train

Many of us are put out by having to drag bin bags to the kerb, or by having to pull a cumbersome wheely bin round our marvellous gardens to the pavement.

The trash train would be a simple service, operated by an independent body and not Labour's transport minister. It would be the size of one of those little model trains kids can go for rides on, and would travel along little railway lines through gardens, and across picturesque hillsides.

Compartments would be sealed for sanitory purposes, and the train would be spruced up to make it look pretty. Perhaps we could even have various characters from Thomas the Tank Engine.

A chute in participating kitchens would take waste to a hopper suspended above the track, and all loading would be automated:
1) Trains stops under hopper (garden can be optionally fitted with platform and full station accessories)
2) Sensors detect train and open waste compartment
3) Hopper opens, dropping waste into compartment
4) Either: a) Train pulls off to visit next household
or b) Hopper drops next load of waste into next compartment

The service would be in place of regular refuse collection, so no additional payment would be necessary. Additional trains could be included, such as bottle recycling trains and compost trains, all whisking their goodies off to top secret locations.