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“Hi! I’m Fearne Cotton, this is Reggie Yates, it’s Friday night and it’s time for… Top of the Pops!
APPLAUSE
“Tonight we’ll be featuring Ben Folds and Coldplay, and we’ll be watering them down with a variety of recently manufactured pop acts trying to flog us repetitive tunes with an almost total
lack of lyrical content.
“Don’t worry though, this evening the viewing public will have a little more control over the acts onstage – if you get tired of an act before it’s over (or even if you have tired of it before it starts due to overwhelming media saturation) just text “STOP THIS RUBBISH NOW!” to 88123. Kids – remember to ask the billpayer first!
“Once five hundred texts have been received, we will open a trapdoor under the singer and vanish them from your sight. They will fall into a chute which will drop them into a waiting car where one of our staff will drive them home and put them to straight to bed without any dinner.
“First up here’s Akon, with his massive 'hit' that sounds suspiciously like a ringtone…
Inspired by this...
Top_20of_20Your_20Pops
A more viable alternative to this idea [Mad Dog, Jun 12 2005]
[link]
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Where's my fucking phone!?!?!? |
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god, that was irritating ^^ |
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Get those talentless schmucks off my screen. And don't get me started with Akon .. |
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Have a bun. And I'll buy you a whole bakery if you can get this idea up and running this year. |
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**Edited*
Erm, (I kinda wanna say [markedfordeletion] rant. Whilst in humourous form, you could always not watch Top of the Pops and refuse to listen to pop radio stations. This works for me!.
But I suppose that it is no more silly than the ridiculous "poke washed up Celebrities with Big Sticks" programmes that we currently "enjoy" on TV |
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It's an idea. The rant is incidental. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. |
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To be fair, you'd have to also allow
people to text "KEEP THIS RUBBISH
PLAYING!", and activate the trapdoor
based on the balance of texts. The sad
thing is that the acts would always stay
on. There are very few things in the
world that are so crap as to not be liked
by the polloi. |
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No. Akor dosen't deserve that. This is a real thumbs down stadium [wags] wants to throw these poor fools into. |
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"We had planned a pit of starving lions, but our legal team said that there may be issues with this..." |
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//Get those talentless schmucks off my screen.// |
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Okay. [Reaches for switch] |
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//We had planned a pit of starving lions// And sharks with laser beams on their heads, don't forget them. |
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Well, I want to do the same thing to some of those songs which people call 'Golden Oldies', golden oldies my arse - a fair amount of them are just asking to have all reminders of them thrown into the bottom of the sea. |
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Maybe Sweety got lonely, so he/she/it paired up with Akon? |
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I approve of the general principle, especially the lion pit, but this idea has stirred up an ancient memory of a TV show that operated a similar concept. It was a talent show and as the crowd reaction became more and more hostile a large hook gradually extended from the stage wings towards the performer until eventually they were either unceremoniously yanked off the stage or they managed to turn around the audience reaction and the hook withdrew. Can't for the life of me remember what the show was called. Of course, I could have just imagined it. It sounds like the sort of thing I might have just made up.
<later> There is (or used to be...not sure if it still happens) a fantastic talent show held regularly on Worthing Pier where the audience are famously aggressive. People appear there just to see if they can survive the abuse and others go just to throw stuff at the performers. |
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Allright, you've got my bun, but I just know I'll end up sendding most of the texts myself. No way are there five hundred people in the world that share my taste. |
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Somehow, "Crap-trap" sounds better to me. |
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