h a l f b a k e r yRIFHMAO
(Rolling in flour, halfbaking my ass off)
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Having weaved my way through all the shit on the "trottoir" (sidewalk or pavement) left by those unsocialable dog owners I was thinking what solutions there were to this hazardous by product of doggie ownership.
I thought that maybe we could shove the dog owners face in it and use their Button Socks
to wipe it up but, I felt that this was a bit excessive. Obviously many dog owners have a problem with cleaning up after their little or big cuddly wuddle.
The solution: Trained Dung Beetles. Each dog owner would have a Dung Beetle. When they take their dog for a walk Mr Dung Beetle comes to. It would be responsable for cleaning the sidewalk after the dog has left his faeces (feces. US). The trained dung beetle would carry it back to the owners house.
Apart from the initial cost of buying the trained Dung Beetle there are no further costs as it just lives on the by product of the dog. It could live in a little anex to the kennel and could even be trained to keep the garden clear of shit, crap, faeces etc.
Dog Patrols would insure that each doggie owner had a trained dung beetle accompanying them.
Big Brother Can I say shit or crap ?
Dung Beetles on the Ball
http://www.halfbake...s_20on_20the_20Ball
[phoenix, Jun 13 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]
Turd seeking missiles
http://www.halfbake...0seeking_20missiles
[phoenix, Jun 13 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]
Dog poo cleanup
http://www.halfbake...Dog_20poo_20cleanup
[phoenix, Jun 13 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]
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Just have the Dog Wardens pick up the offending mess on a trowel and put it back though the offender's letterbox with a polite note explaining that their lost property is being returned. |
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I'll have to ask how you train the beetle?
<aside>Primo Levi's process was to learn the language of the bees (because they are the most advanced of the gregarious insects) and barter through them with the more solitary insects. ("Full Employment" from "Sixth Day" for those interested)</aside>
<aside type="further">Perhaps this qualifies Levi as an honorary halfbaker?</aside> |
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please do not say poo, it always makes me jump. |
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7/8 - would I be able to simply mortar the contents of the trowel into/on/around the letterbox? Eerily and coincidentally, Just this very evening, after watching the LA Lakers douse one another in champagne after their 3rd straight championship I had business to attend to, as I was delivering a few scripts. A bit later, I found myself thinking of how either their wives or girlfriends were licking the remnants of champagne off of them while I was removing bits and pieces of //shit or crap// from a previously unsullied sole with the tip of a small metal-handled automotive-parts cleaning brush, then thwacking my now cleaned shoe on the cement while sitting on the front steps of a lovely apartment building in Beverly Hills. The Manager came out and asked what I was doing. I told him "I'm shaking the champagne for the Dung Beetles" |
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Thank you pheonix for all the links on similar subjects although I think FarmerJohns could be considered the closest. |
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In Sheffield (North England) there used to be a local Park known affectionately by the locals as "Dog Shit Valley" partly because it was in a valley and partly because it was full of Dog Shit. Had trained Dung Beetles been available it may have been known locally as "Paradise Valley". |
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As to how you train a Dung Beetle you use the reward training method. When the Dung Beetle returns with the Dog poo (Sorry ~~po) You just reward it with shit. |
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eh! whoops, that was deliberate.... |
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English Pete: So, it does good work like you asked it, and you reward it by giving it more sh1t ? |
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Excuse me, but are you my former boss ?? |
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There could be a side line in emergency baby dung beetles. This could be used by non dog owners before they have reached full adult status and been rewarded with the 5 stars of service that all shit movers are given. They could be employed to carry out the type of service that thumbwax describes specifically for cleaning the difficult parts of the shoe between the sole on the shoe. This would be part of the training scheme for shit movers. |
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"Emergency Baby Dung Beetle" - promotion at last ! |
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Q://thwacked himself in public last night.//
A://thwacking my now cleaned shoe on the cement// |
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I'm utterly astonished, and pleased, that this does NOT use the non-existant magic technology of genetic modification. |
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Do dung beetles have a preference as to what sort of dung they eat? They might not like dog poo, which is quite different in contents from the faeces of vegetarian ruminants. |
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Pottedstu: Good point. The excreta of carnivores and omnivores, both of whic consume a large proportion of fat and protein in their diet, is totally different in character from that of herbivores, which is largely undigested celulose residues. |
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My understanding is that dung beetles - are we talkign about the Scarabaeus here ? - favour herbivore droppings. But I could be wrong ... |
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