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Anti-Cat

 Consumes cat feces, defecates cat food
  (+6, -10)
(+6, -10) 		  [vote for,
against]

The Anti-Cat is a genetically altered cat which has had its digestive system turned around backwards, so the colon is joined to the mouth, and the esophagus is fused to the anus. The Anti-Cat has also undergone genetic behavioral reprogramming, so that rather than hunting mice and birds, and crapping in sandboxes, it eats cat shit from litterboxes and craps into a food bowl. Because of the gastrointestinal reversal, it is able to convert cat shit into perfectly edible Fancy Feast style cat food (Friskies and Meow Mix add-ons sold separately).

In this way, you can have a regular cat and an Anti-Cat living harmoniously in your house, and you will never need to buy cat food, cat litter, or change a litter box again!

The clever reader now thinks he has spotted a problem. What about conservation of energy, he asks? Cat food is rich in chemical potential energy, cat feces contains little more than undigestible fiber, bacteria, and malodorous coproducts. That's where the Anti-cat vita-drops come in. A 30 day supply of vita-drops sells for just $29.99 (that's less than a dollar a day!). A few drops on the stools in the litter box each morning will provide the Anti-Cat with the energy he needs as well as the vital components which his intestines must re-introduce into the bolus as it turns it back into cat food, to be regurgitated through the Anti-Cat's rectum.

Any questions?

—jsalmon, Jan 02 2002

It's feasible, it's feasible! http://www.cats.org...ws/genetically.html
Statement regarding proposed production of genetically modified cats in USA [jsalmon, Jan 02 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]

GM is here http://dailyrevolut...d/010629.html#today
GM Cats are nothing to sneeze at! [jsalmon, Jan 02 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]

[link]






       yeah that anti-cat will have a certain feast on a carelessly forgotten salmon.
—po, Jan 02 2002
   

       Nope, no questions. You have pretty well summed it up. Oh wait . . . there is one . . . and it has to do with feasibility. Oh, on second thought, nevermind.
—bristolz, Jan 02 2002
   

       GM = WIBNI (and a halfbakery faux paus)

Any questions?
—quarterbaker, Jan 02 2002
   

       or in this case a faux paws
—bristolz, Jan 02 2002
   

       you have such style bris!
—po, Jan 02 2002
   

       The beauty, such as it is, of this idea is that if the cat and the anti-cat ever touch, we'd get ever so nice a lovely explosion.
—beauxeault, Jan 02 2002
   

       Bristolz: all cats have faux paws, unless they have an accident of some sort. <I knew someone with a cat with only three paws...>   

       Aside from this being A) impossible and B) dumb, I can't think of any redeeming features...
—StarChaser, Jan 02 2002
   

       SC]: Your post gives me pause.   

       jsalmon]: The links you proudly point out indicate that the GM of a potentially allergen-free cat may be possible. The leap between that and what you are proposing is, um, well, a leap. A big leap. A leap so big, so wide, and so vast, that one cannot see the other side. It is like saying that because tomatos can be genetically modified it is now possible to grow a spaceship on a tree.
—bristolz, Jan 03 2002
   

       If you want your cat or dog to eat fecal matter, just make sure its diet is lacking in minerals. Just don't come crying to me when it licks you on the mouth.
—thumbwax, Jan 03 2002
   

       Genetic tinkering isn't banned on the HalfBakery, only frowned upon by the curmudgeons. Many of the alterations mentioned in ideas (not this one) could be accomplished with selective breeding anyway.
—phoenix, Jan 03 2002
   

       My dog has been observed eating chicken shit on at least one occasion. And once she threw up something which was avidly pecked up by the chicks.   

       So, I hereby nominate my ... err ... oops, sorry. Wrong animal.
—neelandan, Jan 03 2002
   

       Plants! Right! And there was a news story today regarding a pitcher plant in Borneo that selectively 'hunts' termites. I don't know what if anything edible this plant produces, but if it eats termites it might be good to have around the house. And it likely is on par with our regular cats as regards intelligence: cat program = get the mousey; pitcher plant from Borneo program = get the termite. And although the plant is green, there was at least one green kitten in the news a couple years ago, born to a cat in The Netherlands, as I recall. Some sort of metabolic thing.
—entremanure, Jan 04 2002
   

       I'd like to propose a modification. Since most of the nutrients will have been removed since the cat ate the food, the feces will be much less nutritious. Therefore, the feces-eating anti-cat would have to be far smaller than the cat. And it in turn would produce a microscopic amount of cat-food, so you'd need a really small pussy to be able to live off of that. And it in turn...   

       Big cats have anti-cats that feed upon their shiting;
Those anti-cats have smaller cats, and so on ad infinitum.
—pottedstu, Jan 04 2002
   

       ad nauseum, actually.
—thumbwax, Jan 04 2002
   

       Um...my dog eats out of the cat box, does she count as an anti-cat?
—RobGraham, Jan 04 2002
   

       Only if she shits friskies, RG.
—quarterbaker, Jan 04 2002
   

       Only if the cat eats out of the dog box, RG.
—neelandan, Jan 05 2002
   

       And if your cat or dog has pockets, you've probably been doing some genetic tinkering anyway.
—PurpleBob, Dec 22 2002
   
      
[annotate]
   


 

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