Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Train Platform Randomiser/Scrolling scenery

To give the impression you are always getting somewhere.
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The basic premise, when you are travelling from A to B it is always better to have the impression of motion, because you feel like you are getting somewhere. Anyone who has been stuck in a traffic jam/delayed at an airport/left standing at a port/queuing in general etc. can attests to this I think. What I propose is to alleviate some of the utter misery that is commuting in to London on the piss-poor train system we have here. Railtrack (RIP) should instigate some randomised platform alteration announcement system. This already seems to happen, but I suggest the formalise and mechanise it. What it would do is move commuters steadily from platform to platform, gradually working them towards the platform their train may actually arrive at. In this way, the illusion of travelling is maintained on a track where some train operators have a 62% 'adjusted' punctuality rating.

In addition to this, the walls of train stations could be adapted to display scrolling images of cityscapes or countryside, moving against the direction the travellers have been directed by the Announcement Randomiser, so it would seem to the beleaguered traveller that they really are travelling great distances. This illusion would also make more acceptable the knowledge it took so long to get home.

mcscotland, Jan 17 2002

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       Yesterday I saw the Olympic Torch in front of House of Blues on Sunset Blvd. in L.A. - *sigh* - I was stuck in Westbound traffic for 20 minutes waiting for the geezer to can it with the photo ops and start jogging again. Gawd. Croissant.
thumbwax, Jan 17 2002
  

       I like the idea of having scrolling scenery when you're sitting at the platform waiting for leaves to be cleared off the line. However there is nothing more irritating than checking the board, seein your train will arrive at platform 12 in 10 minutes, then 1 minute before it arrives, hearing an announcement that your train will now be arriving at platform 1. I don't mind waiting around on a platform as long as it is definitely the platform that the train will arrive at.
CoolerKing, Jan 17 2002
  

       //small problem   

       I'm going to try not to swear at you bliss.
mcscotland, Jan 17 2002
  

       I've never been a fan of self-deception. Maybe if you're aware of how slow your mode of transportation is, you'll find alternatives or strive to make it better.   

       You can't fix a problem you can't see.
seal, Jan 17 2002
  

       // You can't fix a problem you can't see.   

       I work in the SE of England - I cannot avoid seeing the problem, but can do abolutely nothing about it (ever tried to drive into the centre of London?) Any sort of self-deception is very much appreciated, you just have to see how many commuters head straing for the bar when they get on the train - assuming the can push their way through the over crowded train.   

       Grrrr! This is going to turn into a rant. I'll stop now before I do swear and upset bliss, or someone marks me for deletion.
mcscotland, Jan 17 2002
  

       Mcscotland, I understand your frustrations. I can't help but thinking of a Huxlian nightmare where people are lulled away from their robotic, subserviant predicament by their Soma.   

       No, I'm not comparing the two ideas. It's just something that pops into my head when I think of self-deception.
seal, Jan 17 2002
  

       life is an illusion. how do you know they're not already doing this hmm?????
kissing bandit, Sep 18 2003
  

       I like this very much. You could show the Chemical Brothers' "Star Guitar" video on the walls.
my face your, Sep 18 2003
  
      
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