h a l f b a k e r yWhy on earth would you want that many gazelles anyway?
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Toblerone Guillotine is a multi bladed device into which a
Toblerone bar can be inserted and chopped into its
segments with one swift descent of its several parallel
blades.
In the case of this device, the Toblerone is placed
elongated along the front, with the blades descending at
right
angles, between the segments.
There is no need to unwrap the famous bar, as the blades
will easily sever the packaging as well. This means that a
fresh Toblerone can be guillotined, then shared as
individually covered segments.
Most Toblerone have eight segments, so a seven blade
guillotine is required to carry out the procedure.
Deluxe novelty French Revolution themed version comes
with a row of miniature baskets to receive the severed
pieces, which tip forward into them after the weighted
row of blades completes its dastardly work.
Toeblerone
https://sodabred.tu...this-halfbaked-idea
[xenzag, Oct 23 2019]
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Annotation:
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I'm not touching one until they make them the pre-pre shrinkflation shape. |
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We would much prefer a single blade, operating sequentially, with a satisfying THUNK - whenever detachment of a fresh segment is required. |
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I have never understood why Monsieur Toblerone designed his
bar so viciously. He is, in effect, saying "OK, we'll put these
deep valleys in, so the bastards have to bite really deeply to
break off a chunk. But then we'll make the top bits really
hard and pointy, to stab them in the palate as they do so.
That'll show them." It's a good thing he died before he
thought of embedding razor blades in the packaging, or
concealing hypodemic nurdles in the foil wrapper. |
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Hypodermic nurdles are the worst kind. |
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Cheers everyone. I just posted idea no 1300.....
goes off to sleep on a bed of laurels. |
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You have an impressive body of work. |
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I also work on an impressive body. Ha |
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That is indisputable, but you'd better have power backup for the fridge; if you lose the cooling, it'll start to stink, and people will notice. |
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Guillotine with blade made from a Toblerone. |
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It would be difficult to sever a human neck with a Toblerone instead of a metal blade. |
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The angles are all wrong ... 60 degrees is far too obtuse to give a cutting edge, and the chocolate would experience plastic flow on impact (if warm) or experience brittle fracture (if cold). |
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We consider the best method is to start testing with a smaller vertebrate with lighter bones and musculature and establish some parameters. |
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I suspect that a frozen Toblerone with a velocity of 3-5000m/s
could sever a human head. |
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This is, in fact, the reason why astronauts on the ISS are not
allowed Toblerone. If one were dropped during an EVA, it
would have to be tracked until (or unless) it de-orbited. |
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To me, the Toblerone is almost sacred. I have many
Toblerone ideas in my notebooks. |
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1300 ideas! wonderful and glad to hear it! |
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Structurally, a Toblerone isn't a million miles away
from being a linear chocolate orange with additional
bracing along the outer edge. I'm not sure that's
entirely relevant, but thought I'd chip in. |
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And congrats xenzag - 1300 ideas over ~14 years
averages out at something like 2 a week - a
magnificent achievement. |
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My daughter's favorite food. Thanks for the gadget to make
her life easier. I shall write her and let her know it will soon
be on the shelves. |
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Old Toblerone illustration I did for a collection of work on Toes (link) It's a bit "wrong", but most people won't/didn't notice. |
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Nice! [+]. I seem to remember that there was some
interesting history behind Toblerone. I’ll link if I
can find it. |
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//some interesting history behind Toblerone. I’ll link if I can
find it.// |
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The Intercalary has some _very_ interesting history with a
Toblerone, but fortunately we kept the video off the web. |
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I just like the mad shape, that's totally unlike
everything else, plus the name of course. They
were always a little bit exotic and original and
they still are. They're tough buggers to draw,
especially if you don't have one in front if you. Try
it and see. |
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What if you have one behind you ? |
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No, no, after you ... "Age before Beauty" and all that ... |
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([MB] has been instructing us in "gentlemanly" behaviour. So far, this seems to consist of shouting at and striking servants, drinking to excess, and using indoor plants as an alternative to more conventional sanitary appliances. But apparently there is more to it ...) |
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Damn - i tried again and still ended up with row of
toes. |
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The gaps are the weakest point of the Toblerone's structure. A small pressure grenade set at the optimum spot should do the trick. |
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//[MB] has been instructing us in "gentlemanly" behaviour//
I've been doing my best. But it's basically like trying to teach
calculus to a fruitfly. We started with "not farting", and by
the end of the seventeenth lesson we'd got as far as "not
farting". |
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We have explained the importance of maintaining pressure equilibrium; and further, it appears to be a case of "Do as I say, not as I do" ... |
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And we are not convinced that "being a gentleman" makes it obligatory to consume a large curried baked bean omelette with brown bread and eleventeen pints of Real Ale as a "snack" every night at bedtime. |
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Another consideration is a continuous toblerone manufacturing method used to drive a rack/pinion mechanism could solve the world's energy problems |
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An Abt rack-and-pinion railway built from Toblerone would be a singularly appropriate way of ascending steep Swiss inclines, although it might well fall victim to problems similar to those afflicting Brunel's Atmospheric railway ... |
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//atmospheric railway//... the leather flaps might
freeze up? |
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Worse than that; the flaps were sealed by greased leather, which was attractive to rats as a foodstuff. |
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It would be disagreeable to be ascending a mountain only to find that tourists had eaten the rack, impeding further progress ;still more disagreeable would be encountering the same scenario whilst descending ... |
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Abt rack trains have a special brake car which engages its pinion with the rack in case of runaway, although normally the locomotive does the braking. This is to prevent gravity producing an effect knowm as "Swiss Roll". |
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On the topic of Toblerone bars, do you know why
they’re shaped the way they are? |
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A: To fit into their box. (sorry) |
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Shirley would slice her Toblerone with a miniature Swiss
Guard halberd. |
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Would that be a full-size halberd belonging to a very small Swiss Guard, or a small halberd owned by a normal-sized Swiss Guard ? |
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The former makes more sense, 'cos if he's only little it will probably* be easier to take it off him. |
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*The aggression of Swiss Guards is not necessarily directly correlated to their physical stature. |
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// *The aggression of Swiss Guards is not necessarily directly correlated to their physical stature.
// |
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It may however have something to do with carrying an Uzi while being dressed as a court jester. |
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