h a l f b a k e r yRenovating the wheel
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In the traditional game of conkers two opponents take it in turns to use their conker to bash the other's. (if you're not familiar with the game, look it up).
In this new version, the chestnuts are replaced with two domestic toasters, which are hung via their electrical cord at arms length. Each competitor
takes it in turn to use their toaster to bash that of their opponent's apparatus until one of them is sufficiently destroyed that it becomes the loser. The survivor triumphs, and goes on to the next round.
Other variations include: smoothing irons, electric kettles, mains radios and desktop fans.
(gloves and full visor face protection are recommended as Toaster Conkers tends to generate rapidly flying projectiles)
HOW TO PLAY CONKERS
https://www.youtube...watch?v=cLGuZZraIqg
a lovely video of original conkers (to be re-imagined with toasters) [xenzag, Sep 19 2019]
Blocky but agile IRL
https://www.youtube...watch?v=C0doFA0696g
Modern music, ballroom moves [Sgt Teacup, Sep 20 2019]
[link]
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Pointless, childish, violent, irresponsible ... what's not to like ? |
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My giant 6-slice convection toaster oven is legal for play, I assume <scribbling team sweater designs> |
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Of course, but remember a large device presents
as a less agile, bigger target that a cheaper
lightweight toaster can chip away at. |
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You don't know my toaster. Blocky but agile; Breakfast Brawl champion. Larger men are often surprisingly good ballroom dancers <link>. |
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do you soak them in vinegar overnight and then bake them before play? |
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Yes, a microwave is best for baking [snigger]. |
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Don't worry about the sparks, they just mean it's baking
properly. |
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Wanton destruction, and unfairness due to damage from
previous rounds accumulating. [-] |
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[notexactly] Canadian? - I guessed correctly. |
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Nice, competition in showers of tiny croutons. |
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// I guessed correctly. // |
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Based on what? Politeness to toasters? |
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You keep confirming it without realising why, and
that's further confirmation in itself. 100%
Canadian. |
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I keep having text on my profile page saying so (in that I
haven't removed said text), if that's what you mean. But I
think you're just bluffing at this point. |
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More confirmation...... you're never going to 'get
it'. You're Canadian - the single most boring,
humourless country on the entire planet, which
even has the edge on Norway. |
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My real-life friends are a lot less boring than I am, if that
means anything. |
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// even has the edge on Norway // |
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... but not, alas, Finland, a country so dull that schools careers officers enthusiastically promote emigration and suicide as equally valid life choices. |
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Sometimes, the tier below command should just throttle a statement. |
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