Times Lewd Roman

Instead of the customary serifs that characterise the classic typeface, Times Lewd Roman is subtly embellished with erogenous detail.

These are placed very discretely on each letter so as not to be immediately obvious, as Times is a very sober and upright citizen in the typographic world. Tiny sets of testicles would dangle demurely from the bottom of some letters, others would display erections poised at various angles, while bums, breast, nipples and vaginal detail would conceal themselves easily at strategic points throughout the entire font. At sizes less than 12 point, these would probably only be identifiable under a magnifying glass. The range would naturally extend itself into upper and lower case, along with all the symbols and numerals, with the ligatures being able to engage in penetrative copulation of every kind. There are other "rude" typefaces, but they are very graphic, loud and obvious. Times Lewd's true nature only reveals itself on very close inspection.

The typeface would be especially useful when writing to some humourless religious fanatic, anti-environmentalist, political warmonger, animal abuser, whale hunting scum, etc etc - they're all in my sights. Wish them a nice day, or some other dimwitted platitude, using a typeface that quietly depicts the "e" happily engaging in doggie tricks with the "a".