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It is widely accepted fact that the only way that the government are going to make the people of the UK safe from terrorists is by mandating the controlled explosion of every empty and static car in the country. Given this legislative inevitability, I propose a product that will exploit a loophole
in the drafting. Yes. A tilt-o-matic static car treadmill.
Handily car-sized, the ToMSCT is, as the name suggests, a treadmill onto which the owner loads his car and, leaving the car in neutral, then gets out. The ToMSCT tilts to ensure that the car "rolls" forward, pulled by gravity. The car does not roll off thanks to a sturdy bar or similar obstruction, onto which you could, if you wanted, affix stickers or perhaps simply daub your name.
Thus, when you are not in your car, it is not static, so the bomb squad will leave you alone. Sound.
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That's funny yet totally impractical and useless against terrorists. Half-dough. |
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*Everything* is useless against terrorists. |
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I think the banning of news coverage would be reasonably effective. |
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Why not hire a stable-boy to gently lead the automobile around the pasture and pen by rope tied to bumper until you're ready to drive it again. That'll do the trick. |
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