Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Think4You

A website that takes over your need for making decisions
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Tell us your dilemma, and we promise to process it and take a decision for you in a responsible but compelling way, keeping your safety and well-being in mind, but also considering your environment, friends, and your community. It will insert thrill into your life and help you develop into the type of person you wish to be.

This is for young people who don't want to study, learn, understand and waste time on experience and knowledge, The Think4You app will give you all the answers for your next step in life.

It learns from its own mistakes (and that's a large pool of experience to learn from) and it forgives itself (by default YOU forgive yourself because you weren't the one making the decisions). It also gets to know you better as time progresses, beginning with small steps like deciding on which brand of soft drink to get, and finally giving the big decisions like whether to accept the role of CEO for a large investment company or join the US special forces to Adis Abeba.

pashute, Aug 14 2016

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       The truth is that most of the clients get decisions like if to set the alarm for tomorrow at 5am or quit the job of street cleaning, but that wouldn't look too good on the advertisement pages.
pashute, Aug 14 2016
  

       Is Congress still using the Beta version?
whatrock, Aug 14 2016
  

       Yes, but it failed validation, so they've reverted to the previous version, and for unsupported functionality they just flip a coin.
8th of 7, Aug 14 2016
  

       We don't tell the clients about this, but the engine is actually a rational one, so it debunks any conspiracy theories and bad-science ideas you may come up with, including the one about this program itself actually being controlled by the Anunnaki, the Bilderbergs, the Russians, the Lefties, the Neocons, the Chinese, the Zionists, the Jews, the Rothschilds or the EU.
pashute, Aug 14 2016
  

       //This is for young people who don't want to study, learn, understand and waste time on experience and knowledge, The Think4You app will give you all the answers for your next step in life. //   

       There are many kids out there who need something like this since the adults in their lives either can't or won't give such advice. Too bad that it would be so open to abuse.   

       It's a pretty good idea otherwise. No endless appointments. No judgmental person dictating. Just straight-up advice based on previous results which can be ignored at will.   

       more minions, har... har.. har.. <simultaneous action>plays fingers against each other</simultaneous action>
wjt, Aug 15 2016
  
      
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