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There's Something About Martin

 an idea for a movie illustrating the fact that every girl has a dream guy
 
(0) 		  [vote for,
against]

Why? Why only THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY? Women think that men are as attractive and appealing as men think women are, so why can't there be a movie called something like THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARTIN? It would go a little something like this. Susana Sanchez (Jennifer Lopez) has been jilted at the altar by her handsome, wealthy, successful and stuffy fiance, Gordon Winthorpe (Dean Cain). As a result, she now believes love is a fantasy Madison Avenue invented to sell breath sweeteners -- until she learns that Martin Alvarez (Ricky Martin), her high school dream guy, is now a senator, and she and her sister Sandra (Cameron Diaz) take a road trip to Washington DC to meet him. Unfortunately for Susana, Sandra also gets the sparks for her dream guy, and practically ever other woman in DC has the sparks for him. Because after all . . . THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARTIN! Highlights of the movie will include an embarrassing teen flashback involving high heels and a flight of stairs, Sandra lying to Susana about Martin's looks in order to win his heart herself, a hubbub induced by a lost hair ornament, Suzanne Vega and a few of her bandmates as a sort of "Greek Chorus," an admirer of Martin's saying she's a law student when she's really a junior in high school, a date at an ice-skating rink, a discussion of "veggies on sticks," and a soft, romantic, gentle kiss tasting sweetly of cinnamon red-hots -- or maybe cola. Yeah, cola.

THEME SONG: "Her sister said stop whining. She's had enough of that. Her sister said stop pining. There's other guys to look at. She'd go out on blind dates with Silvio and Lionel. but there's something about Martin that's without parallel. Martin . . . There's just something about Martin. Her sister said, look sis, life's not like fantasies. That she should move on, this has gone on long enough. Her sister may know about bank accounts and calories. But not a single thing about love. Well, her sister says she's dreaming, and living in the past, but she's never fallen in love, so her sis need not be asked. Her sister said be reasonable, her sister said let go, but there's something about Martin that Sis doesn't know. Martin . . . . . There's just something about Martin.

SCENE WITH SANDRA AND SUSANA AT A COFFEE AND TEA PARLOR:

SANDRA: Susie, I have some good news and some bad news. SUSANA: Let's have the good news first. SANDRA: I ran into a Mr. Martin Alvarez at the gas station. SUSANA: Martin? My Martin? You ran into my Martin? SANDRA: Yep. Your Martin. Now, for the bad news -- SUSANA: He's married? SANDRA: Worse. SUSANA: He's engaged? SANDRA: Worse. SUSANA: He's gay? SANDRA: Worse. SUSANA: He quit politics and is training for the priesthood? SANDRA: Worse. SUSANA: He has some kind of awful disease? SANDRA: Worse. SUSANA: Worse? What can be worse? SANDRA: Well, Susana, it seems the years weren't very kind to your old friend Martin. He's 300 pounds, he lost all his hair, he smells like something a sheep vomited, and his face looks like a petri dish full of some kind of really yucky bacteria. (Of course, Sandra is lying to her sister so she can make her mark with the still-delectable Martin.)

SCENE AT ICE RINK (finale): Susana stops in mid glide to apply lip pomade. MARTIN: Hey, Susana. What flavor you sportin'? SUSANA (shyly, like a schoolgirl): Cola. MARTIN (shyly, like a schoolboy): I like cola. SUSANA: I like you. MARTIN: Ditto. They kiss.

—LaSparkster, Jan 16 2003

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       but as DrCurry knows, Martin is a prat.
—po, Jan 16 2003
   

       I'm not an expert on mainstream Hollywood romantic comedies, but something tells me there are movies like this.
—snarfyguy, Jan 16 2003
   

       *Crush* (sub)plots with girlie-girl-girl as the smitten one are a-plenty.
—thumbwax, Jan 16 2003
   

       What/Something about the boy? right? Ummm, staring the british actor that got caught with someone/somegirl in a public toilet? Stole some plot bits from fight club? Come to think of it, they probably had the same story line only the american version had ummm more fights.
—madness, Jan 16 2003
   

       Since there's no mention of Jonathan Richman, I've voted this one down. Nice integration of the lip pomade idea, though: that should get marks for style.
—kropotkin, Jan 17 2003
   

       Jennifer Lopez jilted at the altar? She'd never agree to it. She only dumps guys AFTER she's married them.   

       Now with Kate Winslett, Dawn French and Vinnie Jones, I think we might have a goer...
—egbert, Jan 17 2003
   

       Blissmiss, Gorgeous Gordon had gone to his eternal reward in January of '86, which is why I compromised by choosing the Gordon MacRae of OUR time, Mister Ricky Martin (both sing, act, and are handsome)
—LaSparkster, Jan 17 2003
   

       Kropotkin, Suzanne Vega -- or hey, how about Debbie Harry -- would be to "Martin" what Jonathan Richman was to "Mary"
—LaSparkster, Jan 17 2003
   

       LIGHT BULB! DAN AYKROYD would play the older brother of Susana's former fiance, Gordon WINTHORPE. :)
—LaSparkster, Jan 17 2003
   

       Have the Farrelly Brothers called the police about you lurking in their hedges yet?
—waugsqueke, Jan 17 2003
   

       Very funny waugsqueke, but unlike ABOUT MARY, ABOUT MARTIN wouldn't have any zipper scenes, dog scenes, or tanning aficionados
—LaSparkster, Jan 20 2003
   

       You could probably get Scorscesi <sp> to direct.   

       No dog scenes? But the dog scenes were the best part of that other movie.
—waugsqueke, Jan 21 2003
   

       Now I don't want to steal anybody's scone but do specific movie plots not sit uneasily with the remit of the 'bakery? Admittedly, there is a culture: movie: plot category but each idea there deals with a plot (or plot device) in general terms, without pitching the whole story, which is what we have here.
—my face your, Jan 21 2003
   

       Croissant for rhyming parallel with lionel. Glorious.
—ChewTheBeef, Jan 21 2003
   

       [my face] Just recently there were two ideas in culture:book that were shot down for the very reason they were just ideas for plot of a novel. So I would tend to agree.
—krelnik, Jan 21 2003
   

       Ideas for movie plots always used to be okay here in the past. I posted one once and this was never mentioned.
—waugsqueke, Jan 21 2003
   

       It surprised me too, frankly. See [bristolz] comments in the Trials of Trafalgar Smith-Smith, which you appeared to agree with at the time.
—krelnik, Jan 21 2003
   

       Yeah but those are books. Whole 'nother thing.
—waugsqueke, Jan 21 2003
   

       Huh? Don't see how its different.
—krelnik, Jan 21 2003
   

       [krelnik] stating that I "shot down" these storyline ideas is a bit strong as I didn't mfd them.  What I did do was suggest that all the users who care about this sort of thing ponder whether or not the HB should be hosting storyline ideas that, due their nature, cannot be objected to on any grounds except lack of originality.  Stories can be magic, or WIBNI, or outright fantasy because, well, because they are stories.    

       I realize that the HB does have past examples but am now questioning whether they should be here. I also realize that [jutta] likely has an opinion on this and it may well be different than mine.
—bristolz, Jan 21 2003
   

       [bris] Apologies, you're right "shot down" is not the right term. Thanks for the clarification.   

       //I realize that the HB does have past examples//
Yes, that's one of the problems with educating new posters. There are many older ideas that clearly violate the current state of the site rules, which have evolved over time. (Example: "Tails for All" would be marked MFD as "genetic engineering magic" were it posted today).
—krelnik, Jan 21 2003
   

       My tuppence worth:   

       If movie (or book) plots are posted as ideas on the halfbakery, then the forum is being used for a sort of collaborative writing process, not a collaborative inventing process. Collaborative writing forums exist elsewhere, I'll hazard and such posts as this should be taken elsewhere.   

       However, I think that DrBob's Trafalgar Smith-Smith is analagous to the ideas in culture: movie: plot - no specific plot points or dialogue or description are offered in the body of the idea, all that is offered is a plot device. Which is what is proffered in the abovementioned category and these ideas are allowed to stay. (Caveat: "That the halfbakery has a category for something doesn't mean that that thing is welcome" -- jutta on "Halfbaked Prophecies").   

       Which is why I think that this and any other Ratemyplot idea is out of the remit of the 'bakery but Trafalgar Smith-Smith is not.
—my face your, Jan 21 2003
   

       // cannot be objected to on any grounds except lack of originality. //   

       I disagree with that. Stories can be good or bad, just like any other idea can be. And to be clear, I'm talking about ideas for stories, not the stories themselves (which I believe should not be here).
—waugsqueke, Jan 21 2003
   

       Yes but can they be mfd for being bad? I could whip out literally hundreds of storyline "ideas" in a day or two and, I guarantee all would be bad but I also guarantee that I could defend against their being mfd within the HB guidelines. I could claim them all literary inventions and, as such, free from the normal laws of inventitude ;-)   

       Hmm, that's a nice piece of clarity, [myfaceyour]. While I understand the distinction as you describe it, I am not at all sure that I could reliably recognize it in practice.
—bristolz, Jan 21 2003
   

       If we're allowing plot elements but not stories, then this idea contains no original plot elements or gimmicks. 99% of stories are composed of new combinations of existing ideas, and this is no different (There's Something About Mary with the sexes reversed, as Sparki admits).   

       I think that if you have an interesting new way of telling a story, or an idea for a series of stories or a fairly major gimmick that you've never come across before, you can post it. But what's the original idea here - role-reversal remakes of films? That's certainly not original: Grease 2 was a role-reversal of Grease, and Bring It On flipped around your conventional sport movies even to the level of the sporty confident girl falling for the sensitive unmacho guy.   

       At the end of the day I can't help thinking, if you've got an idea for a story, write the story. Don't post the idea here.
—kropotkin, Jan 21 2003
   

       Oh, cute, 2 fries. Scorcese, as in MARTIN
—LaSparkster, Jan 26 2003
   

       ABOUT MARTIN is kind of a reversal remake of ABOUT MARY but there are some diffs   

       THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY Rather bloody zipper scene. Prison scene. Dog scenes. Tanning aficionado. No one is Latino. No Ricky Martin.   

       THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARTIN Washington DC. Martin is a politico. Ice rink kissing scene. No gross-out content, just good old fashioned love. Wedding scene between Susana and Gordon (but he jilts her at the altar). Susana is Latino and so is Martin. Maybe a sex scene for Martin. No zippers! Two words: RICKY MARTIN. Ay-yi-yi! No hitchhikers.
—LaSparkster, Jan 26 2003
   

       Kropotkin, the gimmick is that there IS no gimmick. It's simply a comedy about good old-fashioned love.
—LaSparkster, Jan 26 2003
   


 

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