h a l f b a k e r yThe phrase 'crumpled heap' comes to mind.
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Will provide a bespoke range of visitor deterrents from (at the budget end) fake rubber bloodmats on the path and bloody fingerprints on your front door for Jehovah's Witnesses and canvassing politicians to custom-scripted doorstep engagement with mothers-in-law and debt collectors.
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We have observed that the "Ed Gein" method (Dancing naked on the front lawn in the moonlight, wearing a mask made by flaying the facial skin of a corpse) is acceptably effective. |
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But we are always receptive to new ideas, particualrly if they are the evil, sick and twisted product of a deranged mind. [+] |
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On an occasion when i thought a family member had committed suicide and had gone missing, i was visited by a door-to-door salesperson. They left very fast. I wonder if you could either act convincingly bereaved or arrange for a shocking event to be visited upon you in such circumstances. |
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