h a l f b a k e r yBaker Street Irregulars
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The Womb Bed™ is a warm cosy bed shaped like a womb, where you can curl up inside comfortably in fetal position.
It comes with many programmable features like soft background sounds (flowing liquid, rain drops, light wind, soft music, soothing voices), soft vibrations (rhythms, random vibrations,
gentle rocking) and adjustable light and temperature. It even offers soft parts that you can squeeze or hug, and it cuddles and hugs you back if you let it. There's also a massaging mode.
It makes you feel warm and secure when you’re feeling lonely or in need of comforting, and it helps you deal with insomnia, illness, depression and trauma.
Squeeze machine
http://kbs.cs.tu-be...a/me/notes/hug.html
Womb-Bed-like device by Temple Grandin (excerpt from an Oliver Sacks book) [wiml, May 01 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]
[link]
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"Paging Doctor Freud...." |
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I'd like one of these to help me get my newborn daughter to sleep at night. |
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By the way, a better name for this would be "The Bed Womb." |
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This idea is a little bit creepy.
Good name though, beauxeault. |
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And once a month it scrunches up and pushes all the bedclothes out of itself, reminding you to do laundry. |
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My Womb Bed smokes crack and keeps falling down the stairs. |
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One of the major problems with this is breathing. It's not a problem for fetuses, since they have the umbilical cord, but I don't, and I prefer waking up in the morning. Asphyxiation ain't fun. Also, fetal position really isn't all that comfortable, except for fetuses I suppose. |
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How about including an optional Vulva/Vagina plugin, so that after a successful Womb Bed session, one can "re-enter the world" through this super-portal - ie have a natural re-birth, rather than simply jumping out of the bed, viz Caesarian section? |
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(Hmm, strange to think of plugging a vagina into something ... normally it's the other way round isn't it?) |
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Please attach a timer, which is labeled "gestation period." |
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Excellent, an inside-out Schrodinger's womb bed. Nothing bad happens outside – until you get out of bed. |
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For when you have an achy cold, with tissues in a high up pocket. + |
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Wombies: sleepwalkers from womb beds |
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//Hmm, strange to think of plugging a vagina into something ... normally it's the other way round isn't it?// |
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Yes, they take batteries, but can't beat a real woman for comfort. |
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//Asphyxiation ain't fun// |
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I beg to differ. Some would pay handsomely for that service, in the right context. |
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//One of the major problems with this is breathing// |
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You could have an O2 mask and be totally immersed |
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//I'd like one of these to help me get my newborn daughter to sleep at night.// |
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They love to sleep snuggled between Mummy and Daddy. Safe and warm (unless you roll over and crush them.) Nevertheless, those white noise things are meant to work by simulating the effect of sounds in the womb. |
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Another alternative name: "Woomba" |
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Woomba. The electronic, robotic womb. Perfect for the office or at home. |
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I'm picturing the alarm clock for this bed forcing you out through a small opening in the covers to bright light, cold air, and excited voices. |
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