The Three Puppeteers

Her cool, moist tongue burrows deep into his right ear, giving him almost vaginal pleasure except for the loud “SHLOPP SHLARP” sent echoing through the canal. He smiles as the tongue heads south, trailing a damp path like a snail on meth. Sharp teeth nibbling his toes wrench him reluctantly from his sweet dream, and he awakes his undercover partners with a shout. Their trusty hound has yet again alerted the puppeteer police of ongoing perniciousness.

In unison the superhero trio rolls out of bed towards the window, stumbling over their faithful sidekick D’Apprentice curled up on the floor. Eight eyes peer into the starry sky, following the line of the arrow written in smoke and blinking in pink from the intermittent illumination of Metroville’s laser of law. Rushing to the telescope, they find the secret message scraped into the red dust by the Martian rover, “Pervert perp upskirting a store window mannequin at 5th and Vine.”

Armed with dolls and extra string, the valiant threesome and a half rush to the crime scene, emboldened by their motto, “The whole enchilada abets each and everyone, and I assist you-all!” There, the camera-toting sicko is surprised to see Pinocchio descend from the roof and fence him into submission with a long, pointy nose.

No dummy herself, Miss Piggy pops out from behind a parked car to pin him down, John Malkovich rounds the corner to act the bad cop and the young D’Apprentice dons kid gloves with finger puppets to frisk the offender. Once again the three puppeteers have risked their lives and manicures in the preservation of law and order in our fair city.