h a l f b a k e r y"More like a cross between an onion, a golf ball, and a roman multi-tiered arched aquaduct."
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(I confess that I was reminded of this by the recent, short-lived lottery pun outbreak, but this idea is in no other way related.)
Cakewalks and Bingo are forms of lottery that offer relatively high odds of winning a relatively small prize. These forms of lottery attract only very small numbers
of participants. Conversely, SuperMegaLotto lotteries offer infinitesimal chances of winning enormous cash prizes, and attract hordes of eager victims. Clearly people are happier throwing money after diminishing chances of winning increasing prizes.
So I'm moving offshore (to avoid legal restrictions) and establishing The Perfect Lottery. Each Perfect Lottery ticket will specify clearly in very small print that it offers no chance whatsoever of winning. But if you win, you win *Everything On Earth*. Every car, every house, every company, all the gold, every square inch of land, every man, woman an child in bondage to you, and also a nice pocket watch.
If interest drops off, I'll establish The Stupendously Perfect Lottery, which will offer (no) chance of winning Everything In Existence.
Tickets are $1.00 U.S. each, but if you buy a PowerTicket for $5.00, your chances are multiplied.
[link]
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And how does this differ from
religion? |
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Get buy-in based on the promise
of winning everything, of
course. I like the idea, but
couldn't help but notice the
analogy. |
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My lottery guarrantees a win with every ticket, only $1.00 US. The prize is absolutely nothing, multiplied by 10 every day that it goes unclaimed. I like it, beauxeault. |
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2nd prize can be all the tickets in the next lottery. 3rd prize can be an assortment of hens. |
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Can I trade my hen for a weasel? |
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We're out of weasels. Come back in September. |
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For some reason, I want one of these tickets. I want that pocket watch so bad... |
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