Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Replace "light" with "sausages" and this may work...

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The Perfect Lottery

 Win the ultimate jackpot.
  (+7)
(+7) 		  [vote for,
against]

(I confess that I was reminded of this by the recent, short-lived lottery pun outbreak, but this idea is in no other way related.)

Cakewalks and Bingo are forms of lottery that offer relatively high odds of winning a relatively small prize. These forms of lottery attract only very small numbers of participants. Conversely, SuperMegaLotto lotteries offer infinitesimal chances of winning enormous cash prizes, and attract hordes of eager victims. Clearly people are happier throwing money after diminishing chances of winning increasing prizes.

So I'm moving offshore (to avoid legal restrictions) and establishing The Perfect Lottery. Each Perfect Lottery ticket will specify clearly in very small print that it offers no chance whatsoever of winning. But if you win, you win *Everything On Earth*. Every car, every house, every company, all the gold, every square inch of land, every man, woman an child in bondage to you, and also a nice pocket watch.

If interest drops off, I'll establish The Stupendously Perfect Lottery, which will offer (no) chance of winning Everything In Existence.

Tickets are $1.00 U.S. each, but if you buy a PowerTicket for $5.00, your chances are multiplied.

—beauxeault, Jun 19 2001


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Annotation:







       hehehehe   

       And how does this differ from religion?
—phoenix, Jun 19 2001
   

       Get buy-in based on the promise of winning everything, of course. I like the idea, but couldn't help but notice the analogy.
—phoenix, Jun 19 2001
   

       My lottery guarrantees a win with every ticket, only $1.00 US. The prize is absolutely nothing, multiplied by 10 every day that it goes unclaimed. I like it, beauxeault.
—Dog Ed, Jun 20 2001
   

       2nd prize can be all the tickets in the next lottery. 3rd prize can be an assortment of hens.
—benfrost, Jun 20 2001
   

       Can I trade my hen for a weasel?
—phoenix, Jun 20 2001
   

       We're out of weasels. Come back in September.
—benfrost, Jun 20 2001
   

       y = 1/x has no zero.
—Cuit_au_Four, Mar 04 2006
   

       For some reason, I want one of these tickets. I want that pocket watch so bad...
—notmarkflynn, Mar 04 2006
   


 

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