The Ostrich Shirt

There are certain things that you just really don't want to see, Andrew Lloyd Webber in a body stocking for example.

The Ostrich Shirt has sensors in the collar designed to monitor pulse, sweat and brain waves. At the first sign of disgust, annoyance or fear, the system triggers an airbag that bursts out of the collar enveloping the wearer's head in a protective bubble that protects and leaves the wearer in a state of (near) blissful ignorance.

The best bit. The airbag is shaped to resemble an ostrich's head, beak, bug eyes and tufty hair. Perhaps emitting an outraged squawking sound as it deploys.

I feel the best place to wear one of these would be at a presedential/prime ministerial debate. Sarah Palin (please amend to your politician of choice) stands up and immediately the whole auditorium is filled with the sound of squawking and a sea of ostriches faces.