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The Order of the False Beard and Moustache

 "I pronounce you..."
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Banknote designers favour illustrating banknotes with pictures of men with abundant facial hair, as this gives them an excuse for thousands of fine engraved lines and makes the banknote harder to forge. However, this is (a) unfair to potential female candidates for banknote illustrations, and (b) facial hair is going out of fashion(*), leading to a dearth of suitable candidates for the next generation of banknotes.

Our system of honours in the UK is somewhat antiquated ("Knights of the Order of the Garter" - what's a garter?) and due for a revamp. Therefore it seems logical to institute a new order of honour - the Knights of the Order of the False Beard and Moustache. This honour would only be given to the most worthy in the land - much the same as the candidate pool for banknote illustrations. Official photos and banknote illustrations would show these fine men and women resplendent in their false beards and moustaches.


(*) Except in certain parts of rural Sussex.
—hippo, Jul 09 2005

Reserve Bank of Australia: Notes in Circulation http://www.rba.gov....NotesInCirculation/
See "Current Notes in Circulation" for names. [Detly, Jul 09 2005]

The Handlebar Moustache Club http://www.handleba....org.uk/gallery.htm
The Next Generation of Bank Note models [Minimal, Jul 11 2005]

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       Perhaps, if a new trend could be set for posing with arms raised, the discrimination against women could be avoided? (There are other solutions, I guess.)
—Basepair, Jul 09 2005
   

       surely then you are discriminating against bearded ladies
—benfrost, Jul 09 2005
   

       Perhaps the solution is to adopt a standardised pose for all bank-note portraits - hair tousled, arms held high, legs akimbo. Perhaps holding a small un-kempt Yorkshire terrier. Can't see the queen being very enthusiastic though (Corgies are too sleek-coated and hevelled to be effective).
—Basepair, Jul 09 2005
   

       A couple (at least) of our banknotes have prominent Australian women on them.
—Detly, Jul 09 2005
   

       I think QE2 is on every bank note, already, in the UK? I saw her recently on the box, and she didn't appear to be sporting any growth.
—Ling, Jul 09 2005
   

       //facial hair is going out of fashion//

Oh no it isn't. All the trendiest people have enormous bushy beards these days.
—DrBob, Jul 09 2005
   

       How would you spot a fraudster wearing a false false beard and moustache?
—Basepair, Jul 09 2005
   

       Simple; walk up and give it a good tug.
—crater, Jul 09 2005
   

       Santa?   

       Santa Anita?   

       When I first read the title for this idea I thought it was going to be about an organization for people who deface currency by drawing on the faces of dead politicians.   

       Instead of thousands of fine engraved lines depicting facial hair simply substitute thousands of fine engraved lines depicting facial wrinkles, double chins, moles, warts, whatever. I think you'd soon see potential candidates running to find the false beard & moustache.
—Canuck, Jul 10 2005
   

       If it's beards you want why not create the Order of the Pir- STOP IT! ENOUGH with that bucanneering stuff! It's silly.
—wagster, Jul 10 2005
   

       Aye.
—Detly, Jul 10 2005
   

       How about replacing pictures of dead people with pictures of animals which we have managed to exterminate within living memory? There are at least a hundred hairy mammals and feathery birds (with more on the way), and they deserve the memorial more than most dead people.
—Basepair, Jul 10 2005
   

       Banknotes generally try to commemorate our finest achievements.
—wagster, Jul 10 2005
   

       Well, I expect the guy who shot the last Falkland Islands Dog figured he was pretty smart.
—Basepair, Jul 10 2005
   

       You could just put George, John, Paul, or Ringo in their hairgrowing heyday on the pound. No? I'd try & get my hands on those for the memory. I was thinking Abbey Road, but I'm not really sure all of them had a beard at that time.
Has the Euro made the Pound a bit of history? I don't really know.
—Zimmy, Jul 11 2005
   

       No, 'cos unlike nearly everyone else in Europe, the UK has not switched to the Euro.
—hippo, Jul 11 2005
   

       Won't your wife mind?
—st3f, Jul 11 2005
   

       There is a club for people with handlebar moustaches who have something similar to this, I think they get together to compare & comb, and give out prizes etc.......(See Link) Check out the whiskers and chops on some of these fellas!!
—Minimal, Jul 11 2005
   


 

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