The Never Lose Paperweight

Bob the Executive sat slumped at his desk with his head in his hands sobbing uncontrollably. His usually well-coifed Dapper Dan comb-over was all amussed and his papers were strewn about the desk willy-nilly. Shelly, his receptionist/ administrator stuck her head around the doorway.
“Boss, are you okay? I thought a heard whimpering.”
“Shelly, oh Shelly, I’ve lost yet another paperweight! O woe! What am I going to do? This is the third one this week and my papers are a mess!” he cried, gesturing to the toppling towers of loose leaf.

“Well, I was going to wait but, here, I got this for you,” she replied, handing over a box with a big bow tied to the top. “Merry Christmas!”
“But…but it’s only May,” he barely had time to say while he tore the wrapping to shreds revealing the present. “It’s sheer beauty,” he said gazing at the object of what could only be described as sheer beauty.
“It’s the Never Lose Paperweight- a GPS-enabled paper holder-downer. It has a GPS sensor* built right into the ‘nature sculptured’ stone. It comes with an AC plug, battery back up, and with the additional solar panel you can be sure it will always have power. The brochure also said that they use a recently declassified military robust aerial antenna that can pick up a signal from within the deepest, darkest office known to man. It also comes with a RFID tag and built in scanner so it can tell itself when, where, and how it was made. Now you’ll be able to find it no matter where you lose it.”

Looking past Shelly’s head, almost unable to control his emotions Bob said in a gruff voice, “I hope you don’t think that you’re going to get a raise for this.”
“No, of course not. I did this because I care for you, Bob.”
“Right. Well then…(sniff) let’s get back to work then.”
A few minutes later Bob’s voice came over the intercom at Shelly’s desk. “Shelly, I taken care of the increase in your pay that we…um… talked about earlier. And why don’t you take the rest of the day off as well?”
“Thanks boss!” she replied to the intercom. “And thank you, NTSS Co.!” she muttered under her breath.

For picture, see link.

*Accurate +/- 1000 meters
*Also comes with Bluetooth and wi-fi for no apparent reason.