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As I read 21quest’s Overwire Astro Bra idea, I felt a great sorrow.
It seemed to me, that the end result of his idea was diametrically opposed to what ought to be.
Hence: The Ejector Bra.
Utilizing the same technology in vehicle airbags, the Ejector Bra can safely* and effectively de-cup the
wearer’s breasts, expediently, in an emergency situation. The lower portion of each cup is fitted with a small airbag. Just one tug on the decorative bowtie, between the cups, will deploy the airbags; ejecting the breasts up and out of the bra.
The airbags are deployed via compressed nitrogen gas, which is kept in a small cylinder sewn into the strapping.
Whatever your reason for needing to evacuate your bra; the Ejector Bra can do so, swiftly and safely*.
*MikeD Products assumes no liability for damages caused either directly or indirectly by activation of the Ejector Bra.
The inspiration
Overwire_20Astro_20Bra
[MikeD, Jan 19 2010]
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Annotation:
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Also... ejector Y-fronts? |
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very sick, you devil...+ish. |
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This is Onstar we've had a report of breasts exposed. Do you want me to call your parents? |
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Don't breasts come pre-sprung? Just undo a front-opening bra, and they'll pop right out. No need for airbags, except for the flat-chested, and I think those are already Baked. |
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tell me what emergency would require de-cupping a bra!? you fellas are so sad. |
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This is offensive and disrespectful to women. A woman's
breasts are not playthings or pop-up toys - they are nature's
gift and a promise to future generations. |
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So, if you can't have this device play music as it pop's out the
boys, you should really delete it. |
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I'm saving it in case vfrackis posts something. |
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I think I may have once owned a pair of boxer shorts with a similar built in function. |
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On the underground trains in London, there's a sign warning that people who inappropriately pull the "Emergency Stop" lever will be fined. I think this device may need a similar sign. |
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//tell me what emergency would require de-cupping a bra// |
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I have no clue. I was honestly hoping the HB girls could come up with a validating scenario. |
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Bwahahaha. I'm going to be giggling all day because of that, [hippo]. |
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would the bra have a warning lable in the form of a graphic that identifies danger. simple line drawing of a face biting the seated breast through the braw is explosively dangerous? |
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i am thinking of the drawings on machinery danger labels with a hand mangled in the gears or similar |
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I was thumbing through the 20 level Technical Manuals, for a few of the tracked vehicles I work on, the other day just to look at those exact warning pictographs. Some of them are quite amusing. |
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To answer your question though, [frackis]: Yes; Sewn onto the other side of the wash instructions. |
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emergency #1 = end of days:
if you see it comming everyone will need to activate quickly. |
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i for one would hate to see a bra get in the way of the emergency proliferation of the human race. |
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emergency #2 = messaging:
you lose your voice at a protest but you happen to have your message scrawled on your breasts. you will need to expose them rapidly. |
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emergency #3 = car accident:
you walk away but your loved ones lives hang in the balance. you are on the interstate at rush hour in ny - no one is gonna stop to help you and you can not wait for the police.
emergency breast release is your moral obligation and possibly the only way to stop traffic. |
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emergency #4 - arrival of starving children:
you happen to be lactating and you find yourself beseech ed by starving children. |
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I was about to suggest that MikeD might wish to reconsider
that, but then vfrackis stepped into the breech with
something to overshadow it. Good work, v. |
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"Why, how thoughtful honey; you bought me a bra !" |
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Some breasts are already pushed up as far as they can go already. An emergency release, maybe. |
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#5: Deploying the Ejector Bra could dissuade an unwelcomed motor-boater. |
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//Some breasts are already pushed up as far as they can go already// |
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The Ejector Bra is more function than form. If the wearer is concerned with appearing more voluptuous, she can always stuff. |
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Brilliant. It seems only proper that each cup should have a small packet of confetti. I actually feel ashamed for not having implemented confetti into the idea, in the first place. |
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<envisioning the conclusion to the 1812 overture played with breast deployment for accompaniment in lieu of canon fire.> |
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It's not over until the fat lady sings and her breasts deploy. |
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The front should also have a bright red sign: WARNING: Wear safety goggles! |
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With a line drawing of the boy-beaters and their enhanced airbag deployment pummeling someone who got too close. |
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No, anyone who gets that close and needs a warning deserves what's coming to him. |
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