The Edi-Bill

How often have I been working on a project or paging through expired catalogues or butterfly collecting, only to realize that's it nearly 7 p.m. and I have yet to eat. There's nothing in the apartment that doesn't require minutes upon minutes of preparation, to say nothing of waiting for something to be delivered. And going out requires going out. Worst of all, it's not that I'm cheap, I'm just lazy. Money is no problem, really.

Or is it?

Why is it that when we want to obtain sustenance to maintain our busy and important lives we have to exchange this paper substance for expensive, bulky food products? Why can't the money itself be edible? Why don't we have an Edi-Bill?

I propose that the government reissue all of the currency in an edible form. In order to maintain sanitary conditions, the Edi-Bill would come sealed between plastic, and be carried in a special dispenser wallet that would interface with registers for payment and change. If you decided that you wanted a snack, you could use the wallet interface to enter the amount in $1, $5, $10 and large-appetite $20 increments that you wanted and it would pop out the side.

The Edi-Bill would a combination of vitamins and food products designed to expand slightly when it reached the stomach. It wouldn't be a complete food substitute, but it would serve well as one meal a day. The Edi-Bill wouldn't have to be tasty (we're not trying to put restaurants out of business here); its natural papery condition would do fine, perhaps with an added hint of mint or lemon for flavor. Nothing to get in the way of shoving it down and getting on with your life.

The Edi-Bill. If time is money, then why can't food be too?