h a l f b a k e r y"Not baked goods, Professor; baked bads!" -- The Tick
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Every New Year's, on most of the glitzy specials, the hosts take a few minutes away from their hour of glorious self-praise and acknowledge the year's dead stars. And of course, Time magazine always has the January issue, where they list nearly everyone who died in the past year. Of course you've forgotten
them all by March. Thus, the Dead Star Hotline. It would go something like this
Operator: "Hello, and welcome to the Dead Star Hotline. What is the name of the presumably deceased?"
Person: "Gwyneth Paltrow."(enters the matching 4-digit code)
Operator: "Gwyneth Paltrow is--"
Different Voice: "Alive."
Operator: "Please make your next selection at the tone..."
And so on. It would make a fortune, and eliminate conversations like, "Hey, isn't (name of star) dead?" "I don't know." "Well, I guess we'll never know."
Baked: Dead People server
http://www.dpsinfo.com/dps.html
Lists celebrities, giving profession, birthdate, and, if dead, death date and cause [protean, Aug 12 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]
danceontheirgraves.com
http://www.halfbake...ontheirgraves_2ecom
When star die their details could be passed to this website, once their place of burial has been established of course. [Aristotle, Aug 12 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]
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Annotation:
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Yes, I'm always finding myself wondering what stars are dead and which ones aren't. What a time saver and great party idea. </sarcasm> |
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I'd like this... but for all the people on the planet. I'd also
like a web site that would email me when people I choose
off a list die. Since I direct shows I'm always finding out
someone is dead who I met just once in an audition like 3
years ago. (now these aren’t famous people-- or as they
say “we’re nor famous yet”) Then I feel foolish for asking
around for them-- but if I got an email I'd be way ahead of
the game! |
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I thought this would be a more literal phone line to dead stars, sort of "Get me Sid Vicious, NOW, on line one. Sid, baby, how's it going?" It would be quite nice to disturb the eternal slumber of some of the more terminally stupid and self-destructive modern icons with prank calls, ("Hey, Kurt. What's it like being dead? Ah, well. Never mind.") but I hate to think of cool dead dudes like the saintly Bill Hicks being pestered by idiot fans with dumb questions. |
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Alternatively, I'd like a hotline where I could phone up and just say "Michael Bolton" or "Celine Dion" or "Faith Hill", and have that star dead on my doorstep within half an hour. Can we do this, can we, huh, huh, can we? |
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Guy Fox — One guaranteed croissant for your first take. I'd like to check in on Fatty Arbuckle. |
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Oh, dear. It appears I may have created something, wholesome, good, and fun for the whole family. </sarcasm> Excuse me while I puke. |
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Would there be an option to be put
on 'hold' for Bob Hope? Also what
would you do about the status of
dubiously dead stars like Elvis or
Jim Morrison? |
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And here I thought this idea was going to be a way to talk to whatever's in the middle of the Crab Nebula, or all the stars that presumably went into Cygnus X1. |
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I was hoping I could update my constellation charts here. |
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