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The Complete Socksucker

Overcome the feral peril.
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My son is almost a teenager now... he's starting to smell a little and his socks are possibly the most disgusting things I've seen in a while. Even the dog won't go near them.

His habit of stripping them off and leaving them in the lounge, the kitchen, the hallway, the car and any number of other places is maddening. Not least because we, his parents, end up picking them up, braving the possibility of infection with any number of fungal, bacterial and viral pathogens that live on them.

The Complete Socksucker is a modified vacuum cleaner with a small, fully enclosed drycleaning system built in, allowing the user to sneak up on discarded socks and capture them before they stealthily slip under sofas and beds, to be lost forever.

Simply suck up stinky socks, subjecting said socks to sudden stalsis, suds, sterilising solution, spin dry and sock recognition & selection software before bundling clean, paired socks out the other end, ready to be befouled again.

All without them touching human hands.

UnaBubba, May 08 2012

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       There's been quite a few sock ideas sneaking around lately, but this is the best of the bunch, I think.
blissmiss, May 09 2012
  

       Socks were the focus of a long, heated discussion at our place, last night. One child very nearly lost his life over his willingness to spread his toejam through random sock dispersal, against his mother's express wishes.
UnaBubba, May 09 2012
  

       I would kill for problems this simple.
RayfordSteele, May 09 2012
  

       You could have different models for different volumes and degrees of grossness - some suggested model names for you: "Lousy", "Dirty" and "Slimy"
oscil8, May 13 2012
  

       Slimy is for politicians' socks.
UnaBubba, May 13 2012
  

       // I would kill for problems this simple. //   

       [marked-for-tagline]
Alterother, May 13 2012
  

       Second that...Children - a problem we choose. Tried to warn you.
normzone, May 13 2012
  

       I swear, we're going to have to slaughter this kid.
UnaBubba, May 13 2012
  

       Sometimes I find, with experimental projects, that it's best just to salvage what raw material I can and start over... I'm sure that methodology could be applied to parenthood.
Alterother, May 13 2012
  

       Discussions this morning were around the concept of sending one or both of them to a boarding school, if only for 12 months, to snap them out of their shitty attitudes.
UnaBubba, May 13 2012
  
      
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