The Bear and Bull Tavern

Set up a restaurant, deli or take-away that lets patrons make "on the side" contracts inherently tied to the performance of certain stocks. The contract between owner and patron will be two-tiered.

The first agreement would be for the patron to eat at the restaurant at a desired date ordering an agreed meal. This is to prevent any patrons from "bailing out" after a loss.

The second agreement is more open ended. It would involve the patron choosing from a "menu" of stock-price propositions. An example of a dish on this menu could be: "For every percentage gain/loss stock X changes by date Y (determined by agreement 1), you get a discount/surcharge of Z percent on your bill."

The restaurant would have an employed stock analyst to determine this daily (or perhaps periodic) menu. The variable z above could be altered by the patron to reflect the risk they are willing to take. While i am not entirely sure, i assume it is in the best interests of the restaurant to choose stocks that have a reasonable possibility of improving.

So anyone up for a croissant?
Fineprint: Buying a crossaint contract in a time of economic instability may lead to numerous anxiety disorders.