The Annual Halfbakers' Ball

On the thirty-third of Triskadember, each year, halfbakers from all over the world gather to celebrate the year that's about to be (or was, if you've secretly managed to get your FTL, tinfoil, cat'n'toast-powered spaceship to work).

There'll be [jutta] and [blissmiss],
And [xandram] and [po],
The lads, [bigsleep] and [xenzag],
And some we don't know.

And sitting, away from the girls, by the door,
Is a strange group of weirdos, across the dance floor.

[MikeD] and [MechE] and [21Q],
And [MaxwellBuchanan] and [shy Fries x 2],
And there, in the corner, with slippers and pipe,
Is dear old [8/7], having a bit of a gripe.

There's [bungston] and [Loris] and a [Toaster that Flies],
And [beanangel], who's yet to collect a few pies,
But no sign of [pertinax], [Rayford] or [lurch],
Who went instead to HB No Pants Church.

Comes there a time in the evening,
Betwixt cocktails and meal,
When there's spread quite a leavening,
Of things made of steel.

[Alterother], the welder, has been in his shed,
Working away, from designs in his head,
On fishbones and croissants, fashioned by hand,
From railway spikes, stolen, from each earthly land.

Then a quite sudden Hush! spreads,
Throughout the whole room,

[8th of 7] gets nervous, releases a fart,
That knocks out [4whom] and stops [Custardguts] heart,

A stately procession, with [jutta] in white,
Attended by [hippo] (MC for the night),
Makes its way to a lectern, fashioned from bread,
Atop a huge pile, of fishbones, smelly and dead.

So it begins, so they all get their due,
[rcarty], [theleopard] and [pocmloc] too,
And all those halfbakers who feel it's their right,
To pick up a gong on this night of nights,
We've thrown in a bone upon which you can chew.

So it is that the accolades, piscal and bun,
Are doled out to those present, 'mid laughter and fun,

For a [Midget, Akimbo], a bun off the floor,
And a sadly lost bimbo we'd all showed the door.

'Fore the dancing begins and then finally ends,
And each baker homeward, a weary way wends,

There's [calum] and [zen_tom] and even [markflynn],
And one [ytk] and young [nmrm],
And [Vernon], who's composing essays in his head,
And drinking a toast to 'bakers now dead.

And [19thly], [daseva], [AusCan], [remulac3],
It's a good night for them, and goodnight from me.