h a l f b a k e r yCall Ambulance,
Rebuild Kitchen.
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oh sure, Discovery, Shmiscovery, and the occasional Short
Trek.
But now that Jean Luc Picard is coming back to our TV sets
in
a major way, a running episode by episode commentary
from a numerically challenged Borg (hesitating to use the
term Queen here) is just the ticket.
Expecting the
first episode morning of Jan 24th.
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// hesitating to use the term Queen here // |
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"Her Majesty's Government can neither confirm nor deny ..." |
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Aren't those Borg just a nest of a type of brainless metal cockroaches all connected to each other with hose pipes filled with cat piss? (imagines Star Trek episode where a giant space boot arrives and stamps all over them until they are reduced to a sticky paste) |
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No, you're confusing us with Liberals. We are a technologically superior Collective hegemonizing swarm, intent on dominating the Galaxy. Liberals are a bunch of sad losers who sip lukewarm vegan apple juice (from apples that have fallen from the tree, rather than being picked, which is cruel and causes the tree pain), hence the resemblance to cat piss (in both colour and flavour) and whine on endlessly about climate change and how uncomfortable their home-made kaftans woven from dried nettles are. |
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If there is any boot-stamping to be done, it won't be by their mincing little sandal-clad feet. Indeed, we have developed the specialized footwear known as "beetle-crushers" into a much more devastating form eponymous
y labelled "kitten-squashers". |
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I'm trying to imagine a non-vegan type of apple juice. |
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You get it by crushing a Granny Smith. |
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Grandpa Smith was remarkably relaxed about the whole process; it seems she used to nag him, and he'd been wanting to get rid of her for years, but she was quite a good cook so he put up with her. |
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//a running episode by episode commentary from a numerically challenged Borg (hesitating to use the term Queen here) is just the ticket// - please don't encourage him, really. |
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It's hard to resit. He rises and swallows the bait
every time so enthusiastically. Meanwhile I could
see the Borg as being versatile characters in a good
comedy series. |
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True - they could do fart-lighting gags, to demonstrate ass
immolation. |
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In fact, resitance is futile. |
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// versatile characters in a good comedy series // |
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Yes, called "Where did that asteroid come from ?" |
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We call it comedy - you lot call it "The news". Just the one series, ending in an abrupt impact - and more of a black comedy with a hilarious yet tragic ending. |
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This is easier than the days when I went fishing for
mackerel, who will chase around after anything,
even bits of silver paper. Are the Borg a primitive
type of fish, if they aren't of the cockroach family? |
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// the days when I went fishing for mackerel // |
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Ooooh, there go your vegan credentials ... you get energy from carbon-basef fuel sources too, don't you ? |
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//the days when I went fishing for mackerel//
That's past tense, which means it happened many
years ago when I was a child. (These are the small
people who run away from you in blind terror) |
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//now that Jean Luc Picard is coming back to our TV sets in a
major way// This news may have escaped us in the Sceptred
Isle. |
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perhaps because you are preoccupied by the Beauty and the
Beast leaving the castle to the wicked witch and running
away to neverland where they never have to grow up? |
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Oh, you scamp you. That's a reference to Megan stealing one
of our princes, isn't it? You'd think the daughter of the
German chancellor would know better. |
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wait, what? Nah, that doesn't happen, when will these
Hollywood people stop coming up with these silly plots |
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<Picard addressing Ensign Wesley bloody Crusher> |
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"Name?"
"Don't tell them, Crusher." |
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<Ostentatiously inscribes 'Crusher' on The List/> |
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What about "Star Trek: The Great Escape" ... ? |
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"Take me with you ... I can see, I can see perfectly..." |
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