Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Termite router

 Munched signage
  (+34)(+34)(+34)
(+34) 		  [vote for,
against]

In much the same fashion as a printed circuit board is designed, your piece of wood is impregnated with a chemical pattern which has areas of attraction and repulsion for termites.

After applying the termites, their progress is monitored for a period of time. When they have finished their work, they are rapidly retired via some means, such as irradiation / heat / cold / pressure / vacuum / chemicals / predators / being shifted to a new workpiece.

My insectly gnawed "Welcome" sign stands out in high relief. And if the termites could read, they would have realized they were lied to.

—lurch, Sep 26 2006

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       Genius! Lying to termites is good, folks, they're little bastards and they deserve it... <twitch><mumble> I was there, you know, I mean, on the receiving end of a terrifying programme of psychological warfare from termites, they would eat a novel before I could finish it </mumble></twitch>
—Azazello, Sep 26 2006
   

       what [Azazello] said
—pertinax, Sep 26 2006
   

       Yeah, you just need to add an IP address to them and...what was the question, again?
—Ling, Sep 26 2006
   

       They would make better rep-eaters, shirley. (Sorry.)
—Shz, Sep 26 2006
   

       cool +
—xandram, Sep 26 2006
   

       Croissant for idea, supercroissant for the fun-to-sayness of the idea subtitle.
—calum, Sep 26 2006
   

       I had an idea a while back for a Termite Power tool - never fleshed it out and don't need to now, because this is much better. Get your termites to chew on this +
—xenzag, Sep 26 2006
   

       The steampunk in me likes the idea of termite circuit boards, but our vendors have long enough lead times to supply us in the old fashioned manner. (+)
—normzone, Sep 26 2006
   

       Write it, and I will vote.
—normzone, Sep 27 2006
   

       [Lurch] Maybe I'm wrong, but I think, that if at this point in your life , you are having a problem with termites, little signs ain't gonna work. But I will vote yes only because I picture you putting up little signs with your right hand, with your medication in the other.
—SuperHole, Sep 27 2006
   

       Chocolate might work. How can they not like chocolate?   

       Darn. I thought this was a Thermite Router
—BunsenHoneydew, Sep 29 2006
   

       ... So did I.   

       Have you posted it yet? .. Hello [8th of 7]...
—Custardguts, Oct 03 2011
   

       I wonder if you could do this by routering out the sign with the smallest possible bit, then gluing a nonchewable surface flat against it and releasing the termite. I assert the termites will chew against the place where there already is some damage, enlarging the routed space and giving the illusion of organicity.
—bungston, Oct 03 2011
   


 

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