Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Tennis Two-Telly Topography

So you can crane your neck without going outside
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We hear that attendance in person is better than watching an event on TV.*

We notice that, in the case of tennis, the most dramatic difference between the in-person audience and the box-gogglers is that, as each stroke is played, the heads of the former yaw smartly from one side to the other, while the heads of latter mostly just loll (though they may pitch a bit).

Rolling, in either case, would suggest that something had gone horribly wrong.

Anyway, to bring the telly experience a little closer to the in-person experience, we propose putting up two TV sets on opposite walls, each one showing the same match, but from a different camera angle. So ...

poc...
{crane right}
...poc...
{crane left}
poc
{crane right}
poc
{crane left}
poc-whump
{exhale, repeat from the top}

You see? It's almost as exciting as the real thing.

*One's own funeral might be an exception.

pertinax, Jan 17 2024

To add to the experience, why not get one of these? A_20Cursory_20Glance
[xenzag, Jan 19 2024]

[link]






       Add an overpriced warm beer and / or strawberries and cream (event dependent) and this could definitely feel like the real deal.   

       If you leave the living room to fetch these snacks, you are not allowed back in until the end of the current game or end of the set.
not_only_but_also, Jan 18 2024
  

       Does ANYONE actually watch tennis? I am so perplexed by the prominence of tennis events in my news feed, because I have a wide variety of friends on social media from all walks of life, from couch surfing bums to wealthy realtors and attorneys, and I've never once seen a single social media post saying "can't wait for the big tennis match this weekend!"
21 Quest, Jan 18 2024
  

       Robin Williams once suggested golf could be livened up a bit if they would hire the announcers they get for Mexican soccer.
21 Quest, Jan 19 2024
  

       Approved and also see link (features illustration) for something to wear while enjoying your new televisions.
xenzag, Jan 19 2024
  
      
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