h a l f b a k e r yTrying to contain nuts.
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Welcome to the Halfbakery, please enter your username on your telephone keypad.
"99247777833777"
Thankyou, now please enter your password.
"222568884422"
Thankyou. You are now logged in. Please choose from one of the following options: Recent, Category, Search, Add, Random, Account.
"Recent"
I'm
sorry, I didn't hear you. Please choose from one of the following options: Recent, Category, Search, Add, Random, Account.
"Recent"
I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. Would you like to talk to a moderator?
"Yes"
I'm sorry there are no moderators available, due to them all having lives. Please choose from one of the following options: Recent, Category, Search, Add, Random, Account.
"Recent"
Todays recent ideas are: The Analog Halfbakery, Standardized ultralight cars with designated roads, Glisten, Traction Stand, OZ:Vatican, A Pope Opera, Telephone Menu Based Halfbakery-
"Telephone Menu Based Halfb-"
"Would you like to speak to a moderator?"
"NO!"
I've told you before, there are no moderators available. Please choose from one of the following options: Recent, Category, Search, Add, Random, Account.
"Oh for god's sake!"
I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. Please choose from one of the following options: Recent, Category, Search, Add, Random, Account.
"Recent"
Todays recent ideas are: The Analog Halfbakery, Standardized ultralight cars with designated roads, Glisten, Traction Stand, OZ:Vatican, A Pope Opera, Telephone Menu Based Halfbakery
"Telephone Menu Based Halfbakery"
Thankyou. Telephone Menu Based Halfbakery. For the offline, the computerless and the plain masochistic. Welcome to the Halfbakery, please enter your username on your telephone keypad.
"Eh?"
99247777833777 Thankyou, now please enter your password. 222568884422
"Haven't we just-"
Would you like to speak to a moderator?
<click>
You'd at least be able to talt to other Halfbakers while you wait...
waiting_20party_20line
[hippo, Oct 16 2008]
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Annotation:
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I would laugh but I've been ringing BT lately... |
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I like it, except my phone's a dially one and it can't "do" buttons. |
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"If you're calling from a rotary phone, please hang on and a moderator will be with you shortly"
{cut to Muzak} |
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"Please be assured that your idea is important to us and we'll put it up on the site as soon as possible, so that a bunch of overactive underacheiving teenagers and grumpy cynical overeducated pedantic misanthropes can slather it with perverse and largely irrelevant annotations, consisting mostly of personal attacks on one another, advocacy, exchanges in an ongoing flame war unrelated to the idea under discussison, touchy-feely self-congratulation that makes the Oscar acceptance speeches look brutal, and obscure references to quantum physics, biochemistry, mettalurgy, books, films, TV programmes, radio shows and computer games which only 0.00003% of the readers will understand ....... you are now number........ SEVEN ..... HUNDRED..... AND ...... FORTY ..... SIX .... in the queue. Please continue to hold ........ <tinny, distorted and unidentifiable pop music> |
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"Press 1 for Custard,
2 for Ninjas,
3 for Pirates,
...
...
10237 for Carbon Nanotubes,
for Vagina Jam please hold."
...
-Cue tinny pop music for 8 hours. |
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...hello, my phone looks like a big croissant! + |
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To get your money back - press button B.... until a few years ago there
was still one of these phones working away in The Palace Bar in the
centre of Dublin. This idea is even more fun when put in the context of
making the call from a malfunctioning, clanking payphone with a poor
connection loaded with static. |
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Despite the horribleness of this idea, I can imagine how many of us would actually call it if the computer version went down for any length of time. |
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// largely irrelevant annotations, consisting mostly of
personal attacks on one another, advocacy, exchanges in
an ongoing flame war unrelated to the idea under
discussison, touchy-feely self-congratulation // |
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See, [bigsleep]? This behavior was already the accepted
norm when I came along to further sully these hallowed
pages. My own pithy degredation is but a drop in the
ocean, good friend. |
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"Our security porpoises are not available at this
time, so your call may be recorded for them." |
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//Would you like to speak to a moderator?// "Yes." |
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Press one for light water, two for heavy water, three
for graphite, or four for beryllium. When you
achieve criticality, please press the hash key. |
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